Blessings

Well, this weekend alone did not go anything as I thought it would. Instead I was not feeling well and stayed home. Saturday evening I hurt my back somehow. I was in need of a back rub something awful, but being alone there was no one to rub it. Instead I tried one of those hand held vibrating massagers, but it did not cut the mustard. Sunday morning I stayed home nursing my back watching church services on TV. In the afternoon I received a call from a girlfriend and we had a wonderful time chatting. I noticed after we hung up that my back wasn't hurting so much anymore. Hmm? Was it good conversation or Advil? I only took one Advil, so I am thinking maybe good conversation? Nothing like a woman to woman chat.

I looked out the window and there were my men pulling into the driveway. They were home and happy to see me. Even though they drive me nuts, I sure did miss them. The boys excitedly told me all that they did. They shot rifles, they did archery, they built camp fires, etc. Eric won a blue ribbon in knot tying. They were in an Iron Chef competition and won 2nd place! Lots of wonderful things to bless my soul.

I also received another blessing. Please go to my Hopes & Dreams blog and check out my latest entry.

Spring Cleaning

Recently, I happened upon a Sear Essentials that is going out of business so I stopped by and picked up some curtains. I got a good deal. I was eager to see the new curtains up so this morning after a good night's rest, I took down what was in the windows and threw all into the washer. It is so nice to have clean curtains. Above is a picture of one of the pairs of curtains I bought at Sears all washed, ironed and folded. I am going to use them in the kitchen when summer comes. Aren't they pretty?

This is a picture of the plates I hung up in my dining room. I took down my Friendly Village plates and put these up. A touch of spring. Here below is my dining table all dressed up.

I have not felt well lately, some kind of virus I think. It has my bowel a bit messed up. I feel sluggish and get tired out easy. I sat down on the sofa to rest and fell asleep sitting up. Below is a picture of my Dusty kitty enjoying the warm spring sun.

Happy Spring Everyone!

Rough Week

If you are looking for one of those blog entries that is sweet and nice, this post may not be your cup of tea. At our house there are struggles with one personality grating on another. Life here at the Little Blue Cottage is not all roses. In my writings I hope to show how God can work through the tough times in life. I have written about my health journey, but today I am going to write a bit about life with my boys.

This week was one of those weeks where a mother struggles with teenagers that have a mind of their own. The suggestion that one get dressed goes unheeded because a video game is much more enjoyable. Then there was the time I asked my teen to clean up his room and he said, "When I grow up, I am not going to marry someone that is a neat freak." Oh, there was the incident where someone pulled an electrical cord out of the outlet in the sunroom and pulled out the wall panel with it. Then there was the time when a pulley was rigged up to a telephone pole and I caught the doer of this deed before he hoisted himself up the pole (electrical wires and all). Yes, there is never a dull moment here at the Little Blue Cottage.

Thankfully, I am coming up on a weekend alone. Praise God for Boy Scouts! With all my men going off camping this weekend, I get some much needed "alone time". And this time I am feeling well enough to enjoy myself. Aaahhh.

I Have Been Tagged

Rachel has tagged me. I have to tell 7 things about myself that are not common knowledge.

1. When I was 8 years old I set up a table in front of my house and sold Kool-Aid.

2. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother all younger than me.

3. I grew up loving the ocean. Our family went to the beach often. When I was 12 and 13 I loved bikinis, was a good body surfer and an avid seashell collector. I dreamed of being an Oceanographer when I grew up. That dream never came true, but I still have my seashell collection from childhood.

4. My parents moved around a lot while I was growing up. As a result I went to 3 different elementary schools, two different jr. high schools and two different high schools. Out of all my schooling I enjoyed college the most.

5. After graduating high school I was not sure what I wanted to do. I got a phone call from a Navy recruiter asking me to come down for an interview. I was going to join, but I was on medication for asthma at the time, so I couldn't.

6. Since I couldn't join the Navy I enrolled at the local Jr. College where I met my husband-to-be in the College Christian Club.

7. I have always consider myself to be shy. In school I was always the quiet girl that never talked. Ha! What am I doing on this blog? LOL

Hanging Out at Home

The boys are on campus today. I am not doing anything special, just cleaning house, doing laundry, etc. I can concentrate on my work better when all my men are gone. LOL There is always so much to do, but I am thankful for the work. Tonight I am having leftovers since the guys are going to Boy Scouts. While they are at scouts, I plan on doing my grocery shopping. So it is an eat and run night.

We finally got the endoscopy scheduled. It will be on April 1st at 10:30 AM. And I am getting the scope done with the doctor that I wanted! I am always amazed at what the Lord does, how He really does listen. I do not know why, but I am really afraid of this procedure. They are going to dope me up, so that will help. Also, Mark is taking the day off because I cannot drive myself home afterward. It will be nice to have his company.

On the Menu

Today I am practicing the art of thrifty cooking.

Dinner:
Pinto beans with bacon
Jiffy corn muffins
Spinach Delish

For dessert:
Banana pudding & whipped cream

The latest update is that the boys have been driving me nuts with their antics. This weekend they are going to Camporee where they will be competing with other troops at various events. My oldest son is an expert at knots and lashings. He can do all kinds of fun stuff. Here is a picture of something he did today.

A neighbor cut down a couple of trees and she said that my son could have some of the branches. Of course he took them and got rope from the garage to make this little stretcher.

On another note, I am sending a copy of the tests I recently went through up to my endo doctor. After enduring yet another bout of horrible pain, I have written a letter stating that I want surgery. As for the endoscopy, I have not heard a peep. We put in a call to my bowel doctor, but did not get anywhere. If I don't get the scope I am not going to be too disappointed as I am sick of all these scans and tests. And I will be seeing my bowel doctor in April and I'll just tell him they never called. And I will be telling him that I am ready to have someone take a look inside.

Looking to the Needs of Others

Love thyself last. Look near, behold thy duty to those who walk beside thee down life's road. Make glad their days by little acts of beauty and help them bear the burden of earth's load. ~Wilcox

Isn't this what mother's and wives do? I think so. We walk down life's road beside our husband and children hopefully making their days glad with little acts of kindness, love, beauty. We help them carry their burdens, through listening and prayer. What a great blessing we have been given to be a servant like our Lord Jesus.

"Let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)

"If I then your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet" (John 13:14).

~R. J. Finley

Birthday

Today was my birthday and when I opened my devotional
this morning the Lord had a message for me.
This was the message:
God can use you at any age - if you are willing.
I am willing Lord.

The Day's Blessings

A warm spring day

Lemon Curd on an English muffin
Surprise birthday present from a friend
Delivering an orchid plant to a friend who needs encouragement
Eric put up decorations for my birthday
A birthday email card from Brandon
Taking a walk at Peter's Canyon with Eric

*Picture taken by me with my son's cell phone.

Endometriosis?

I spoke with my endometriosis doctor the other day. He thought having an endoscopy would be a good idea, he is interested in what they find. I told him the pain flares have been coming at the end of each month. I asked him if it could be endometriosis and he said it could. He said that if I have another bad pain flare that he wants to put me on Danazol. Ever since I talked to him I have been a bit depressed.

I also have been dealing with vaginal pain for a few days. I have lived with it for 10 years. When it comes on it irritates my bladder and I have a constant feeling that I have to go to the bathroom. When I had surgery with my endometriosis doctor they checked my bladder and said it was healthy, no disease. I had one doctor tell me that the pain was nerve damage from the hysterectomy I had. I guess he is right. So that pain along with my intestinal pain has me feeling pretty miserable.

A Love Story

Tonight I have a tragic love story. Our youngest son (8th grade), has a crush on a girl in his class. The crush has been mutual. The story begins with me deciding to let go of some of my old costume jewelry. I loaded up a bag of goodies to give to charity. Well, my son got into that bag and took a piece that he liked, I did not know. He gave it to the girl he has a crush on. He secretly put it into her backpack. Well she found it and thought it was from my son, but she was too shy to ask. So she and another girlfriend cooked up a scheme. When my son saw her girlfriend wearing the piece of jewelry he got upset. She felt bad about hurting my son and told her parents. Well her parents got upset and called us. They said our son is a nice boy, but he is taking things too far. They made their daughter get on the phone and tell my son that she can only be friends nothing more and she is supposed to give the jewelry back. My son is terribly crushed and says he is finished with girls.

New Jobs for Laid-Off Moms - Stay at Home

Well, the dip in the economy is working good things. I read an on-line article about moms who have lost their jobs and are for the first time, spending time with their children. Reading the article made me realize even though I am not blessed with material wealth, I am blessed that I get to stay at home with my children. Here below is part of the article by Jocelyn Noveck (Associated Press writer) that I hope will grab your interest.

NEW YORK - Soon after New Yorker Geralyn Lucas was laid off from her television job in January, she took her two-year-old son to the playroom of her apartment building. She realized she had never been there before. Within minutes she had inadvertently broken all the cleanliness rules. "I wore shoes, " confesses Lucas 41. "I brought food. I changed his diaper. I didn't know those things weren't allowed."

When she took Hayden to his playgroup at a toddler center, she had to ask the little boy for directions to his class. And when she went to the pediatrician's office, the nurses were so used to seeing the nanny that they didn't recognize Lucas.

Lucas and other laid-off women like her are involuntarily experiencing the life of a stay-at-home mom, and they are getting to know a lot more about the details of their children's daily existence. They are also discovering some of the things they have been missing.

Read the rest of the article by clicking here.

Sorting Things Out

When I was at the doctor's office last Thursday I asked for copies of all the tests I have had recently. They gave me a copy of everything that was in my file from the past 6 months and there was a lot of stuff to go through. Just this morning I finally sat down and read the x-ray report of my small bowel. It says that there is a slight deformity of an irregular duodenal bulb, but there is no definite ulcer crater. And there is asymmetry at the base of the bulb with attenuation of the inferior fornix. I tried to figure it out through looking on-line. All I could understand is that there is a normal protruding part of the intestine just after the stomach (it looks like a bulb), but mine is deformed (at the base). And there is some thinning of the arch that surrounds the bulb. It also said that my stomach filled well and there is normal movement, but that the folds in the stomach are markedly diminished (which means my stomach is not expanding well). The radiologist says that the irregular movement of the bulb due to its deformity is connected to the decrease in the rugal folds of the stomach (so that is why I get full so fast and have lost weight). They are supposed to call me to set up the endoscopy so I don't have a date yet. I will post that when I know

With this recent diagnosis Mark is more stressed than usual. Please say prayers for him. He has been through so much with nearly losing me in August 2007, the reconnection and the ileus and now this. It pains me that I am having all these health issues and it affects my family. I try to make things as normal as possible, keeping the house up, shopping, laundry, cooking, running errands, etc. I just hope and pray that whatever is wrong can be easily treated and this trial will end not only for me, but mostly for my men.

On a happier note, I went to the Bible bookstore and ran into Cindy, a mom I know from when the boys went to public elementary. Cindy is one of the managers at the bookstore. I was telling her that we are going to have to leave Spirit Academy and the boys will be going to public high school. She has her daughter in public high school at Foothill where the boys want to go. She said that she and her daughter are very pleased with the school and that her daughter has made a number of Christian friends there. Her encouraging words were so needed and really set my heart at ease. The Lord is so good!

Test Results

The appointment with my bowel surgeon went well. I was more controlled this time, although I did start to well up at one point. Hate when I do that, but this whole ordeal has been hard to deal with in light of what I have already endured.

As is usual for me, the test results came out normal. No blockages or signs of narrowed bowel. However, there was something that came up to indicate there may be a possible ulcer inside my intestine and my doctor wants me to have an endoscopy done. Of all the tests I have gone through, I dread this one. I hate things being stuck down my throat. Even though my blood test came back negative for ulcer, he said there are other kinds of ulcers. What comes to my mind is endometriosis. My spells of bad pain have been coming on a cycle, usually hitting at the end of the month. Cyclical pain can be an indicator. I will just have to go through the horrid endoscopy and see if they find something (if anything...a bit of sarcasm). I also have my phone consult with my endo doctor on Monday. I will see what he thinks.

I also told my bowel doctor that I am still having issues with elimination. He suggested I take Mira Lax, but I am taking an herbal supplement that works in the same way and still having issues. I will just keep plodding along as best I can inspite of feeling like giving up.

Nervous Nellie in America

Well, tomorrow is my doctor appointment to see what the results of my scan are. I would like something to show up so I have an answer to all the pain I feel. Even if nothing shows up, I am going to let the doctor know that I am going to opt for having a look-see with the laprascope. I am going to also ask for copies of all the reports on my scans and send them to my doctors up north. I already have an appointment to speak with one of my doctors up north on Monday, March 16th.

Today I taught Eric about the Great Awakening (a spiritual revival) that began in America around 1730. The colonies were in spiritual decline when a preacher by the name of Jonathan Edwards in Massachusetts began to clearly preach the gospel of Christ. This awakening was part of God's plan in the birthing of America. President Calvin Coolidge (who by the way was born on the 4th of July in 1872!) spoke about the Great Awakening in a speech he gave during his term in office which was from 1923 to 1929 (taking over from President Harding who passed on). It is a cool speech and I wanted to share it.

"The American Revolution was preceded by the great religious revival of the middle of the 18th century, which had its effect both in England and in the colonies. When the common people turned to the reading of the Bible,...when they were stirred by the great revival...the way was prepared.... It was because religion gave the people a new importance and a new glory that they demanded a new freedom and a new government. We cannot in our generation reject the cause and retain the result.

It is these beliefs, these religious convictions, that represent the strength of Amercia, the strength of all civilized society. ...it is righteousness alone which exalteth the nation..."

~President Calvin Coolidge (30th president of the United States)

Pretty cool speech eh? I especially like when he says "We cannot in our generation reject the cause and retain the result." I think the statement applies to us today.

Last Scan

This is a picture of the medical center I go to from atop the parking structure. The building with the green squares on it is where my doctor's office is. The building that is yellow colored is the hospital where I had my test. The building with the red & yellow on it is the brand new hospital. They are moving patients to the new hospital this weekend. It is very exciting because every room in that hospital is a private room which allows for family members to stay in the room with their loved ones.

Well, my upper GI scan went well. It took 2 hours to get through. I had to drink lots of barium and take lots of pictures in different positions. I had to lie on the table and rest while they waited for the barium to travel through my intestines and then take more pictures. They did mention that the barium was moving slow through my bowel. Yes, that is one of the problems I am having, things are not moving through as well as they should. Next week I see my doctor on March 12th, so I will have more details then. Thank you all for your support and prayers.

If you have time, check out my latest post at Hopes and Dreams.

The Day's Blessings

Sunshine & clouds
A family lunch with homemade soup
Eating apples together
Talking & laughing
Walking in the sunshine
Holding hands

These are my blessings for today.

Better Day

We had some warm days that felt like spring, but today it was cold and rainy. I love the beautiful clouds that are around when it rains. I had to take a picture of them.

Today was a better day. All turned out well with Mark's truck. It was only the battery that needed replacing. Whew - Praise God! Last night I was really very tired and I fell into a deep sleep. Mark left for work early and he kissed me goodbye, but I fell right back to sleep. I did not wake till after 8 AM and I realized I needed to take the kitty in for her fur appointment. So I jumped out of bed, woke the boys and we took Dusty kitty to the vet for her bath.

Today was a very busy day, full of homeschooling, cooking, cleaning and laundry. Even so, the boys and I had some blessed times of fellowship. I am enjoying our time together because I know next year it will be no longer.

Today I was going through a basket of books I had been holding close to my heart after my near death experience. This basket has been neatly tucked away in its spot and it made me realize how much time has slipped by. In the basket was a devotional with writings by Oswald Chambers. I had a particular page bookmarked which really spoke to me today. It was something I really feel that the Lord has been teaching me through all this long trial I have been going through. I am still learning it, but I feel because of the trial I have made progress. Progress I would not have made otherwise. You can read this special message titled "Visions and Darkness"at Hopes and Dreams.

Troubles

What a day it has been so far. Mark's truck was dead this morning. He gave it a jump start with my car and then took off for work. Not far from home the truck died on him. So he walked home and asked the boys to help him push the truck over to a curb. It is parked around the corner from our house waiting on him to fix it. I had to drive him to work, come home, get the boys ready for school and then take them to school. Later, I will have to pick up Brandon, run some errands, pick up Eric and then Mark. On top of all that my tummy is acting up.

Things have been tense at Mark's job. He admitted to us that things do not feel stable at work. He has been working longer hours which makes it harder for him to homeschool the boys in math. We have been blessed that we could send the boys to private school. Spirit Academy is a school that combines homeschooling with on campus classes. I have enjoyed the closeness homeschooling has brought to us as a family, but now things are such that we can no longer afford it financially.

Since this situation has come up we decided the boys will have go to public school, only we wanted them to go in a different school district than the one we are in. A friend of ours told us it was going to be hard to get a transfer. Well, Mark talked to the school district, filled out the paperwork and we got a call last week that our transfer was ready for pick up. Mark came home with it on Monday, all signed and ready to go. It went through no problem (God's blessing). With the money we will save by not having the boys in private school, we will be able to afford getting Brandon the braces he needs to fix his teeth. Right now his back molars are locked and will not come up unless we get those braces. So far 2009 is off to a rough start.

Last night I took a walk and thought on all the things we are facing. I felt overwhelmed. When I got home I checked email and noticed one from a friend with "Universe" in the subject. It was one of those Power Point forward things and I could not believe the timing on it. It was about the universe and how huge it is. It was basically saying here is this big universe that God has created and runs and you think your problems are too big for Him to handle. Yes, I needed that!

Spring

Today it felt like spring, temps were in the upper 80's. My birch tree pictured above does not look so bare anymore. I took this picture while lying on the ground. I remember doing that as a girl and I did it today. There is some kind of freedom about lying in the grass looking up at the sky. The warm sun shining down on me. Then my sweet rabbit came up next to me and we snuggled in the grass. I like the feeling of being in love with God and His creation.

Well, my men arrived home in the late afternoon, along with their dirty laundry. They said the camp was perfect. There were enough patches of snow that the boys had tons of fun sledding and throwing snowballs at each other. There was a pond for them to play at and everything was green. I wish I could have gone, but it was best for me to stay home with the kind of pain I have been in.

My alone time was much needed. I did not get lonely. Usually I have some one to visit or something to do. This time I made no plans. I was in too much pain to do much and I feel the pain ate into my time. Have you ever been in so much pain your vision is a bit blurry? Well, that is the kind of pain I am in. Saturday evening the pain let up enough that I fell asleep on the sofa, which felt really good considering that Friday night I did not sleep much.

The weekend was quiet. I waited on the Lord to speak to me. This morning I heard the still small voice that always hits the mark. I posted on Hopes and Dreams about Psalm 37. This Psalm and the commentary on it in my devotional hit the spot. He is in control and HE will make all things right at the appropriate time. This is what I need to hear to give me strength.