Adieu

I feel the above title appropriate.  I found that this little Anglo-French word means "to God".  And so should my life ever be lived ~ Adieu!

This is my last post at The Little Blue Cottage.  Add on top that I am ill and you will understand why I am feeling quite melancholy.  Earlier in the week my youngest son came down sick.  He had to go to school as it was finals week and we are moving.  That was not good for him and he developed bronchitis and an ear infection.  He is on antibiotic and slowly returning to health, however, I have come down with what he has.  I pray I do not get as sick as my son.  I have been taking herbs and drinking lots of hot tea.

I am still trying to get my men to pack.  The boys have packed some things, but the biggest problem is my dear husband.  He just told me that if he doesn't pack then he isn't going.  Oh, here he finally comes with his suitcase and he is opening drawers of his dresser.  My goodness, Dusty has jumped into one of the drawers, maybe she wants to be packed. ;-)

Well, dear friends, I must bid you farewell for now, God bless each of you for being a tool in His loving hand.  You have blessed me with your thoughtful caring comments and support in prayer.  I sincerely appreciate each one of you.  Please visit me at my new blog House on the Hill and join us in Colorado.

P.S.  I was quite naughty last night.  I slipped out of the house alone and went down to my favorite movie theater.  I saw the movie "The Young Victoria".  It was absolutely delicious!!!  I floated from the theater to my car on a cloud not regretting my naughtiness in the least.  However, I did suffer for my transgression as I felt quite ill driving home.  Thankfully, a cup of hot tea and rest helped me feel more comfortable.

Ashes

We received the ashes of our beloved Princess.  I set the urn on my vanity with a spray of pink roses and a figurine that resembles Princess.  The figurine was my Grandmother's.  As you can see Dusty is spending time with her friend.  We miss her.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

I am learning the meaning of this oxymoron from the play Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare.  Tonight our friends threw us a going away party.  Saying goodbye to cherished friends lifts our hearts, but at the same time we are filled with sorrow. 

Things are winding up and down...

Well, things are winding up for Colorado and winding down for California.  The Little Blue Cottage has 4 occupants that are full of nervous knots.  For stress we get an A+. LOL  I am the only one in the house that has begun packing what I want to take on the airplane.  All the men in the house are waiting till the last minute.  Hmm.  Okay, lets talk about something else.

One of Brandon's friends adopted our last goldfish.  The other goldfish died the same week that Princess passed away.  A friend of mine is supposed to come by tomorrow and pick up one of my house plants that I have had for years.  Hopefully my sister can take the other ones.  Two of my plants I am going to take with me via the moving van.  I think they will make it, at least I hope they can.  The food in our fridge is getting low along with the pantry.  It is getting harder to make meals.

This week I have to get Dusty a special kitty carrier for the plane.  She also has to see her doctor to make sure she is fit for travel.  I am positive Dusty is healthy enough and I am excited to be able to take a plane trip with my kitty.  She is going to have a grand adventure winding up in a huge house.  I do not think she (nor I)  is going to know what to do with so much space! LOL

Chit Chat

Wednesday, our pet sitter came by and said goodbye to us.  She and I got teary not only about me moving out of state, but because of Princess passing away.  After her visit, our buyer had his final walk through.  He did it a week early due to a death in his family.  It was a bit difficult for Mark and I only because we are sad to leave our little house.  Our realtor put a sold sign up and it made things seem final.   The boys did not like it when I brought them home from school and that sold sign was up there.

Wednesday was also the day that I talked to my endo doctor via phone.  I told him the situation with my eating problem (I no doubt had frustration in my voice) and said that the PT has helped other issues, just not the problem with eating.  So he said that it is time to take a look inside and see what it going on.  Neither of us wants surgery, it has just gotten down to that.  Unfortunately, I cannot have it until June.  That means I have to live with this pain for 5 more months!

Thursday, I had lunch with two girlfriends.  Oh, it was so nice to get together with them.  Unfortunately for me, I had a light breakfast and I started to feel like I was weak.  Eating lunch made me feel better, but after doing so my tummy pain flared up badly.  I never let my girlfriends in on the matter, did not want to ruin a perfectly wonderful time.  Tomorrow, (Friday)  I am having lunch with another girlfirend.  I am probably going to have to skip breakfast in the morning so that I have room for lunch.  This whole senario is not helping the issue with my weight.  Do you see red flags going up?  I do, especially since I keep losing weight.  This is a situation that calls for the amazing wonderful work of God!

This weekend we will begin the task of packing clothing and various items for our plane trip.  None of us are jumping up and down for joy about the task.  In fact, I do not know how much is going to get accomplished as far as my DH is concerned.  As the day draws nearer, Mark has taken to sleeping.  There he lies on the couch snoring in front of the flickering light of the TV as life goes on around him.  It is his best way of dealing with stress.  Wish I could do that.

My Prayer Today

Lord, let me be faithful to you in difficult circumstances.  Let me love you more than my own dreams.  Let me have humbleness of heart and a teachable spirit.  Let my attitude be one of praise and thanksgiving.  Let my life bring glory to your name.  In Jesus precious name - Amen.

My cherished plans may go astray,

My hopes may fade away;

But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,

For He doth know the way.

~Overton

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

Dear Blog Friends

Please forgive me, I know it has been a long time since my last comment at your blog.  Right now my life feels like this cake looks.  Sunday night my parents hosted a "going-away" dinner for us at Bucca.  We all had a good time even though it was for a sad occasion.  We ate at a big round table called "The Pope's Table".  As you will notice behind the cake is a glass box with, yes, the Pope!  This head was in the center of a big lazy susan so anyone could spin it around and have the Pope stare.  It was pretty hilarious.

Above is a picture of the whole gang minus the one taking the picture.  Otherwise the boys and I have been trying to spend time with friends before we leave.  The deep pain of parting has been hard to bear at times.  Parting with pets, parting with family, parting with friends.  Sometimes I get a tad bit irritable, or I sit and blankly stare into space, sometimes I walk around wringing my hands, sometimes I am on my knees and sometimes I am weeping.

My Sweet Princess

This morning my dear sweet Princess kitty could hardly breathe.  We took her to the vet who did tests and found cancer in her lungs.  We made the decision to put her to sleep.  It is very lonely without her here, she and I were very attached.

The side effects from the shots finally wore off.  My tummy is still sore from the PT.  Some areas still hurt and others are doing better, except for the spot that hates food.  That spot is unaffected.  Praise the Lord that it is not in a flare right now, otherwise I would be ultra miserable.  Oh, my weight has dropped down to 99 lbs. a bit worried about that.  In other news, we cleaned out the garage today.  It was not as bad as I thought it might be.

Tummy Shots And A Dumpster

This is an update on what it going on.  Going to try and make this short because I am expected at the pharmacy.  Anyway, yesterday I had my tummy shots.  Dr. Lee went a little deeper than I expected, but hey, I got through it.  Then Patty, my PT, took over and boy did she ever pull and yank.  As I drove to meet Mark for lunch I felt the medicine from the shots had me under the influence.  I had lunch and that spot that always hates food, let me know that it was not giving in.  The rest of the day I felt sore and out of sorts.  I am not a big fan of  drugs.

This morning I feel a little less under the influence, but there is still a slight fog hanging over me.  I still feel sore this morning.  I am on my way to pick up a prescription for a suppository I need to try.  It is specially made to relax pelvic floor muscles.  I have to do it to see if relaxing these muscles will benefit my bowel.  I have been doing exercises to achieve the same thing.  I think it has helped other issues, but that "spot" that hates food is relentless.  For that "spot" I am supposed to eat a low residue diet.  Blah.

This morning a dumpster arrived.  Mark ordered it.  He plans to go through the garage and whack away at the vine growing on the wall, my overgrown rose bushes, etc.  Everyday is a step closer to moving.  Sigh.  I am not sleeping well, can't gather my organizational skills, etc.  Just walking around in a fog and doing the best I can with health trials, moving and teens. 

California Time

Sunday afternoon, the boys and I took a day trip which I called our So. California Tour.  We first enjoyed lunch at In & Out Burger.  What is more Southern Californian than In & Out?  After a delicious cheese burger and shake, we went over to Huntington Beach Regional Park.  It is a big beautiful park that holds a lot of good memories of our Cub Scouting days and summer days when I took the boys to the park to walk around.  Here below are two pictures I took in the park.

The bare branches of a tree against a winter sky.

 

This is a picture of the winding path in the garden.

After walking in the garden that is in the park, we went to the Huntington Beach Public Library which is right across from the garden.  The library is huge and I think it is one of the prettiest libraries I have ever seen.  It has a large water fountain inside the library and one outside.  Plus there is a big circular aquarium in front of the children's library.

Indoor water fountain.

Outside water fountain.  Such a cool study area for students.

A glimpse of the large circular aquarium in front of the children's section.

After browsing through the library the boys and I walked back through the park and then drove down to the beach.  Our favorite is Bolsa Chica State Beach.  It was expensive to get in, but it was worth it to see the sun drop down into the sea.

I took this day trip with the thought in mind that it may be the last time we do these things.  It is very sad to think such thoughts, but as I stood on the beach, I realized what a grand life I have had.  There have been so many precious gifts and I am the owner of treasured memories.  I pray that I will feel the same about my future life in Colorado.

My life with teenagers

It has always been a challenge to mother my two boys, but lately things have been extra rocky.  I am trying to be a Godly mother ministering Godly advice.  I point my boys to the Lord, trying to encourage them to seek Him.  I tell them what the Bible says and pray that they will commit their lives to Jesus.  Sometimes I see signs that they are leaning that way, other times I get discouraged.  Last night something happened to my oldest son that rocked his world.  I have to admit I was not too broke up that it happened.  For a boy that just turned 16 three weeks ago, he has been much too girl crazy for his own good.  He was trying to balance two girls at once and of course his grades have taken a nose dive.  Well, girl #2 found out about girl #1 and dumped him.  He did not seem too upset, but then last night he found out something that made him think that girl #1 was unfaithful.  This upset him terribly.  Thankfully, him and girl #1 have talked things over and decided they are not BF & GF any longer, just friends.  Whew!

My youngest son is not involved with girls, thank goodness, but he has his issues as well.  He does not handle stress well and has a set of behaviors that can be scary.  He tends to need lots of encouragement and understanding when he has his emotional outbursts.  Yesterday, he had one and I was blessed to remain calm.  He decided to go out for a run to burn off some steam.  While he was out some gang members saw him.  They told him to come over to their car, which he refused to do.  They followed him.  My son ran to a friend's house and hid in their garage till they were gone.  You see, about 2 years ago there was a gang related shooting at a park a little less than a mile from our home.  This is the area where my son went running.  Although we do not want to leave our Little Blue Cottage, I think the Lord has great blessing in store for us.

Tonight we are going to have one of the boy's friends spend the night.  This boy's parents divorced and it was ugly.  Many hurt feelings arose and it hit the family hard.  Yesterday this boy's mother went to the hospital.  They found she had an enlarged appendix, so she had to go in for emergency surgery.  Thankfully, they were able to do it laprascopically so she is up and about today.  She looked well and said she was feeling much better.  I am sure her son will find some comfort in being with friends while his mom recouperates.  I know it will be a blessing to have him with us.

FYI:  The information shared in this post regarding my sons has been approved by my sons.

Thank You & Update...

Friends, thank you for your prayers and encouragement, they are very much appreciated!!  You are all reflecting the love of God to me.  Let me tell you, God's love is amazing and so are you!  Sometimes it is hard to talk about my health issues.  I have been learning that not talking about these things can be a form of pride.  Humbling myself and seeking encouragement & prayer from brothers and sisters is a step in faith.  Having the opportunity to pray for one another is a blessing.  For starters it is another reason to come before the Lord.  The more time in the presence of the Lord the better, don't you think?  Second, we get to see the Lord work in that person's life which helps build our faith and theirs.  Third, we are loving our brothers & sisters by lifting them in prayer.  Its just all good!  Last night I  felt someone was praying because I had very little pain after eating my dinner.  Praise God!!!  It is so nice to get a break from the pain, even if it is just for a little while.

I went to physical therapy today, it was a good appointment.  Patty explained to me about the shots that I am going to have next week on Thursday.  I was relieved to know that they are not going deep; it is going to be under the skin, with lidocaine applied topically.  I can do that!  We worked at trying to pinpoint that left sided pain I get after I eat.  She got on it, but nothing she does releases it.  She did manage to get a burp out of me.  That means some of the food moved on through, but then the pressure builds up again and even more so if I eat again.  We also worked with my pelvic floor muscles which hurt like crazy.  Afterward, Patty explained to me with a visual aid about the pelvic floor which I was eager to learn about.  And she gave me exercises to do to help relax the muscles, since mine are in a constant spasm.  After the appointment I did some thinking and started piecing together my experience and things Patty and my endo doc have said.  It is such a gift to be able to understand.  Anyway, God blessed me with understanding today and I am thankful.  As for my pain with eating, it has been nagging at me all day.  I am hopeful about the procedure next week; hoping it will make a difference.

In other news Mark called the moving company and we have dates set for our belongings to be packed up and moved.  We have 3 weeks left here in California and we will be on our way to Colorado.  I don't know what to say about how we feel, all of us are a bundle of nervous energy.  Mark has stayed focused on what he needs to do to move his family, but now that we are getting closer to the actual move he is becoming more emotional.  It is hard for all of us to leave the comfort of what we know.  At times we think about what the Lord is doing and are amazed, but then that flesh kicks in and we are back to sniffing.  For myself, I am starting to focus more on our new home hoping I can make the house a home to comfort my men.  I have also been thinking that maybe this move will not be permanent, but that is ultimately the Lord's call.  For now, the thought comforts me a bit.

Unspoken things...

So much is going on in my life right now that it has become overwhelming. One thing that I have not spoken much of lately is my health.  I am just going to be blunt, I am in bad pain.  The one thing that PT has made better is the nausea attacks, they have lessened, but the pain, that is worse.  Right now I am in such bad pain I can't think straight. It hurts to eat anything and my colon is not eliminating normally.  I fear that I am becoming a bit anorexic in the sense that I feel guilty for eating.  I tend to eat light and sometimes skip meals because of the pain.

The other thing that is bothering me is that next week I am going to have a procedure done.  A doctor is going to inject some medicine into my long vertical scar and then my PT is going to be yanking and pulling on it in an effort to losen scar tissue.  To put it mildly I am afraid.  The medicine is to help lessen the pain, but she has pulled on it a bit without meds and I nearly passed out.  I have had things go wrong and so every procedure that I submit to is a big deal for me.  Tears are flowing now, I have kept this bottled up for so long. I am trying to trust the Lord, but its really hard sometimes.  As long as I keep marching forward despite the fear I hope to bring glory to His name.

Decision made...

Mark and I stayed up late talking things over.  Before going to sleep I got on my knees and thanked the Lord for the awesome blessing of having two beautiful houses to choose from.  This morning we got an email from our landlord that helped us make a final decision.  Before I go on, I would like to explain.  When I first came home from our house hunting trip to Denver I was in tears.  The Lord has soothed my broken heart in the comfortable surrounding of the Little Blue Cottage allowing me to prepare myself to relocate.  Since seeing the vintage house on the hill, I have of course thought of how I would arrange the house, etc.  As I thought about the house I kept having a desire to have wood flooring in the dining area, a more modern bathroom and a laundry room that was not in the basement.  With the modern house I can have those desires met.  So we have decided to take the modern house.  Here are a few pictures below; two were taken in spring or summer and the last picture is the view from the back deck in winter.

 

 

A dilema has arisen...

We have a house on the hill dilema.  Our landlord owns two houses on the hill right next door to each other.  The house we toured is his mother's house which I shared pictures of.  I am going to refer to this house as the vintage house.  The house next door is our landlord's house that he used to live in.  I am calling his house the modern house.  When we toured the vintage house there was a young couple renting the modern house which they moved out of at the end of December.  An older couple relocating to the Colorado is currently renting the vintage house since it is furnished.  They are awaiting the arrival of their furniture and were going to move into the modern house, but they have taken a liking to the vintage house.  So we have been offered the modern house, but if we still want the vintage one we can have it.

The modern house has a master bedroom on the main level and the master bath has a nice tub (which is a plus with me since I love to take bathes).  There are two bedrooms upstairs each with its own bathroom.  A 4th bedroom is in the basement, but there is no bathroom down there.  There are high ceilings and an open floor plan plus a big stone fireplace.  A big deck with a nice view is off the kitchen/dining area which is good for entertaining.  It would be great if  we could tour this home to get a feel for it, but we have to go by pictures.

One of the cons about the vintage house is that I did not like the master bathroom.  It was a bit cramped and I did not like the shower stall at all.  The other con was that the vintage house has white shag carpeting in the living and dining area.  I am thinking that the boys will be tough on it.  The modern house has tan carpet and wood flooring in the dining and kitchen area which would be perfect. We are thinking that the modern house might suit our family better, but both Mark and I can see ourselves sitting on that awesome front porch at the vintage house.  Sigh.

In other news, we spent new year's eve with my family.  New Year's day we had one of the boy's friends from scouts over to spend the night.  He is having so much fun with us that he asked to spend another night with us.  I am very happy to have him here especially since we won't be here much longer.  It is so nice to be able to spend this special time with him. 

Winter's Pink

Our birch tree against a Southern California pink sunset.

The big tree at my neighbor's house.

 These gorgeous pink camelias bloom every winter.

So pretty!