Thank You!

Hello dear readers, homeschooling was a bit rough today, so not feeling witty enough to post something special, but did want to thank you all for your lovely comments to my last few posts. Your support and prayers are very much appreciated!

Haven't had much pain the past two days, but I am having issues with pressure. It is a really odd feeling and it wears me out. In other news, Lady Bird has taken to flying about the sunroom. She lets us know when she wants out by doing a little side step dance in her cage. When we open the door she flies around the room. She is getting better at landing. Today I left the cage door open while I turned to get her a worm. She flew out and landed on the buffet where I keep the worms. She is a smart bird! Tonight she flew out of the cage and landed on my shoulder and was content to just sit there. I cannot believe how fast our happy bird is growing.

Surprise!

Today Mark brought me these flowers when he came home from work. It was such a lovely surprise! It really meant so much to me because the past few days I have been struggling with pain and bowel troubles. Even so I am trying to keep up with my homekeeping duties. I am behind after being on Danazol. Below is a picture of the baby bird which I have named Lady Bird.

We have had her a week now and she has been a joy even though it takes a lot of work to keep her fed. She has fattened up and the bald spots have filled in with feathers. She is full of spunk and hops around her cage happily cheeping at us. She has taken to flying about at times, but needs a little work on landing.

Today was a busy day of homeschooling, laundry and cooking. Last week the boys had SAT 10 testing so there was not much school work to be done. Good thing I tried the Danazol last week. Today I needed to be teaching and I am thankful that I am back to my regular self so that I can teach. Below I am sharing pictures of what I cooked for dinner hoping it will help inspire you in your cooking.

Here is a lovely pot of Red Beans.
They were served with brown rice.
(The recipe link says to use "kidney" beans, I use "red" beans instead.)

A lovely green salad.

Some garlic bread I made up.

For dessert we had Butter Pecan ice cream.
Happy meal making!

The Comfort of a Cozy Bed

Sleeping with a bit of Shabby Chic on the bed makes me feel like a princess. The only thing I lack is a headboard. I am too cheap to buy one and too lazy to make one. So my bed is very simple. I enjoy lounging in my bed writing in my journal, reading the Bible and spending time with the Lord. However, this morning I did not want to rise. I would have rather curled up under the covers and drifted back to sleep. Even so, I rose because I needed to take my boys to school.

Thankfully, Thursday found me feeling like my old self once again. The Danazol had finally worn off. The fog that had enveloped my mind had disappeared. I was free from confusion's grasp and able to prepare meals in the kitchen, read the word of God with clarity and organize my day. Dinner was everyone's favorite and I sugared up some berries and baked homemade shortcakes for dessert. The only problem was that my pain returned. It always begins with nausea and Thursday evening the nausea kept me from finishing the laundry. After putting the boys to bed, the pain flared up worse. It feels like something gets blocked and is trying to get through. I tried to get in a comfortable position to sleep, but I couldn't. The pain kept me up past 2 A.M. When morning came I was not eager to meet the day.

I took two naps today, which felt like heaven. Tonight I am in pain again. Between drugs and pain I feel I am losing the battle. I think of doctors, of surgery, etc. The only real resource, the only one who can fix me, is the Lord. I need to lay all in His capable hands for He himself says "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14.

Thanks for Your Comments!

First I would like to thank my readers for their comments on the previous post regarding the Danazol. Your comments were very important to me and helped me in my decision to stop taking Danazol. Even though it did work on the pain, the side effects were not worth it. I would rather have my sanity and be in pain, then be loopy.

I have not taken it for the past two days and I am still having side effects so it is going to take awhile before it gets cleared out of my system. I began taking milk thistle today as the Danazol is metabolized by the liver and the milk thistle will help my liver recover. I am in no hurry to tell my doctor because I am not interested in trying any other drugs. I just want to recover from the bad reaction I had on the Danazol. I was hoping that Danazol and I would get on because it is the one hormonal treatment for endometriosis that does not cause bone loss. For me that is important because I already have bone loss. Not osteoporosis yet, but I am headed that way. The other drugs to try all cause bone loss so I am not eager to try them. I can see it now, I finally get the endometriosis taken care of only to end up dealing with my bones. I refuse to take any of the drugs for bone loss as I had already tried one and it did not go well with my digestive tract and frankly scared me. Besides which, I am sure the pain I am having is from endometriosis. I think the lessening of pain from my stopping hormones proves that enough.

In other news, my youngest son brought home a baby sparrow on Monday evening. He said he saw it fall from somewhere. So he picked it up and brought it home. Both boys searched for the nest, but they could not find it. They left the bird to call for the parents, but they never came. So we are taking care of this baby bird. It is the boys' job to feed it the insects it needs to survive. I have made up a little formula that I feed to her also. She seems to be doing fine. It makes me think when Jesus said that not one sparrow falls to the ground without the Father knowing about it.

Difficulties with Danazol

I am not sure how much longer I can last on the Danazol. Yes, Whimpville calls my name! I have read that the side effects will fade as the body adjusts, but how long will that take? My vision seems a bit blurry and my mood is all over the place. I am no longer my usual self. Slight diziness with headache. Lethargy. Anxiety. Sleep disturbance. The feeling that my life is not worth living. Lack of appetite. Plain and simple I feel I am on drugs and the drug is messing with my mind. It has helped with some of the pain and my bowel seems to be acting better. That feels nice, but otherwise I am not able to be a proper wife and mother. I feel I have a ball & chain and have to whip my body into submission just to cook a meal. On top of that once I get into the kitchen I experience a bit of mental confusion as to what I am supposed to do in a kitchen. Of course at the same time we are having a heat wave where the temperatures have been in the 95 to 100 range, but that is not what is messing with me. Wait! I hear something familiar, a tune playing...could it be the "Twilight Zone"? Seriously, I need to be on top of my game, I am skipping tomorrow's dose.

Sharing my Shamrock

Here is my shamrock plant in the morning.
It loves the sunlight and is all perky to meet it.
It seems to say "Top of the mornin to ya!"

Here is shamrock in the evening.
The leaves close up and the flowers droop.
It has tucked itself in for the night.

I love this little plant so much! The pot I have it in is a present from my friend who had surgery. She painted it for me for my 40th birthday. I have had the pot 8 years now. My-my how time flies. Speaking of my dear friend in Maine, she called me tonight. She is home from the hospital!! I wrote her a letter and she got it while in the hospital. She loved it. So glad she is alright and we are both hoping that this is the last surgery she will ever have to have.

As for me, the Danazol gave me terrible mood swings on Saturday. Today is day 3 and I am doing a bit better with it. The hot flashes are annoying, but I am used to them. I am only taking 200 mg. a day so far. I feel some pain relief, but
of course need more time to see. Maybe later in the week I will be able to get up to 400 mg. My doctor prescribed 600 mg., but most times I cannot handle the recommended dosage because I am so sensitive. A little bit seems to go a long way in my tiny body.

Thinking of my Friend

For the past couple of days I have been thinking of and praying for my friend who had surgery this past Wednesday, April 15th. This is a picture of her little cottage in Maine. She and I met because of Endometriosis. This disease has cost me my uterus, my cervix, my tubes, my ovaries, my appendix and my sigmoid colon. I was never able to bear children because of it and neither was my friend. Now what have I gotten in return? Well, I received my two beautiful sons through adoption. And I also received friendships with women across the country and in other countries. Some of them stayed just a while and others I am still friends with. The friend who had surgery this week has been my friend for about 10 years. We both have stubborn cases of endometriosis. One of the last times I talked to her, she expressed how scared she was to have surgery again and that she was afraid she would not wake up. I completely understood where she was coming from. I told her unfortunately we are not that lucky. We both had to laugh and we laughed hard. With endometriosis, life can be a curse because of all the pain and misery it causes. Even so, I think it helps us gals to appreciate the beauty of life in ways we would not normally.

So here is to my dear friend in Maine, who is a talented artist. Below is a picture of the lovely bubbling brook that makes its way through her property. She loves the sound of it.

As for me, I took my first pill of Danazol. I am supposed to take 3 a day. I am starting out slow with the pills because sometimes I do not take to medications very well. So far so good. Tomorrow I will take two and see how that goes.

Homemade Things

The boys and I decided to stay home to rest today. The TEA Party rally and the bike ride really took a lot out of my body. I have been catching up on laundry, which is much needed as the boys will be going camping this weekend. For today's post I thought I would share all things homemade. I hope the pictures are inspiring.

Banana muffins with coconut on top.
The pot on the stove contains soup as seen below.

Used the ham bone from our Easter ham.
The soup has beans, carrot, celery, onion, garlic, Italian parsley
and a can of creamed corn in it. My men loved it.

This is a pan of mashed potato biscuits.
Yep, I used leftover mashed potatoes.
They are absolutely delicious!
Here is the recipe.

This is my strawberry applesauce.
Berry simple to make.
Just peel & chop apples and some strawberries.
Place in a pot with 1/2 c. water & sugar.
Add a cinnamon stick.
Bring to a boil, then simmer till tender.
Remove the cinnamon stick and then use a hand
blender to make it nice & smooth.
Yum!

This is a treasure I got for Easter from my
sister in-law. She crocheted this bunny
and chick. I love them!

And last, but not least, this is the handiwork
of my son, Brandon and his Dad.
Brandon had to make a model of the solar system for
science class. The sun is a paper lantern that Brandon painted.
They did a fantastic job on it.

Easter Break Outing #3

TEA Party rally in downtown Santa Ana.

Cute dog!

Picking up the vibe of the rally.

Great costumes!

Me with my TEA Party balloons!

We rode our bikes over to the rally. It was a hard day to ride a bike because it is such a windy day. I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I did! The boys were not too sure about the rally, but I think they picked up the vibe once they got there. It was exciting to hear the roar of the crowd once we approached the Plaza of the Flags where the rally was held. The mounted police were there, the horses were great! There were some people dressed up and many brought their signs. It was a good experience for the boys and a fun way for them to participate in the workings of our government.

Morning Outing #2

Brandon flying his kite at Bolsa Chica State Beach.

Eric flying his kite.

Brothers walking down the beach.

Sandpiper

The Pacific ocean.

This morning I woke up with body aches and still feeling tired. I broke down and took some DHEA. I get to feeling so rundown that I have to take some kind of hormone. I want the boys to have a good break from school and enjoy themselves. Both of them thanked me for taking them to the beach, they had a wonderful time.

Morning Outing

The boys walking at Fashion Island in Newport Beach.

The Koi pond stepping stones.

The beautiful Koi.

Inside part of the mall, looking down on a water fountain.

Flowers in the sitting area.

Looking at the small garden and on to the ocean beyond.

Rachel Ashwell's Shabby Chic store in Newport Beach.

Beautiful rolls of fabric.

These lamps are gorgeous!

Pretty waste tins.

Love this pink chair.

These dishes are very pretty.

I woke up this morning not feeling tip-top, but thinking this week is vacation and I want to get out. I have been feeling unwell for weeks now, so decided to just do whatever it is I want despite it all. The boys and I made a stop at our favorite Starbucks where I got a chai latte (haven't had one in so long) and then headed out to Newport Beach. I wanted to see the Shabby Chic store one more time before it closes. I love all the beautiful items, but even on sale I cannot afford the price. Sigh. The boys and I enjoyed Barnes & Noble for awhile before we walked out to the viewing garden to see the ocean. It is a beautiful day.

Easter

Easter flowers from Mark that I arranged.

Easter morning, Brandon is hunting for eggs.

My boys are growing up so fast.

Happy Easter!

This is an Easter present from Mark, that was waiting for me when I got home from running around town vainly searching for Easter grass. What a blessing it was to come home to these!

Yes, I went to four stores and none of them had any Easter grass at all. I wonder what is happening in the world? I kept putting off getting grass because I thought I had some stored away. Well, when I could not find it I went to the crowded stores. I ended up buying the expensive paper shreds just so I would have something.

Today has been a good day for eating. The endometriosis has settled down and I have been able to eat without dire pain. Yeah! But on the other hand I have been off of the hormones for over a month now and the symptoms of menopause have set in. My back aches, I am having hot flashes, mental fogginess, etc. Sometimes before a hot flash I have a bit of anxiety set in. It is a horrible feeling, but doesn't last long, just lets me know a hot flash is on its way. When I was taking hormones for awhile I felt so alive, it was nice.

It has been a busy day preparing for Easter dinner at our house. Lots of cleaning to do, which the boys helped with. Also, got the ham and got what we need to make sour cream coleslaw and baked corn. My family members are bringing the rest of the meal. Speaking of family we got a call from Mark's father (who lives in Arizona) that did not bear good news. My father in-law has cancer. They have caught it early, so he has that going for him. He has talked to friends and been told about a clinic here in California near us that is very good. At times like these I do wish that our modest cottage was not so little, but we will find a way. Also, my mother in-law is going to be having knee replacement surgery next month. I have not heard any more news regarding my uncle, but I will find out tomorrow.

Well, I would love to chat some more, but I have pineapple muffins to bake and Easter eggs to color with the boys (they still love to do it at their age) and then I have baskets to fill and eggs to hide. I'm a busy mom and I love it!

Good Friday

Blessed Good Friday

And when they had come to the place called
Calvary, there they crucified Him,
and the criminals, one on the right hand and the
other on the left. Then Jesus said,
"Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they do."

Luke 23:33-34

Christ died for my sins.
I am so thankful He did.
No greater love is there, than when He laid
down His life for us.

Endometriosis still Reigns

Well, I went off to my doctor appointment in a good spirit. I had a very pleasant visit with my bowel doctor. The biopsy of my esophagus came back negative, everything is completely normal. Both the doctor and myself were relieved and happy. I have to marvel at how the Lord works. My bowel doctor and I were on the same page this morning, that page was endometriosis. I told him that I have consulted with my endometriosis doctor regarding the pain in my bowel and he said there is a possibility that I am dealing with endometriosis and he wants to put me on Danazol. My bowel doctor thinks that is a good idea. So that is the next step for me. My bowel doctor said there may come a time when he will need to go in and take a look, but right now is not the time. He wants to see me back in 3 months to see how the treatment is going, which I appreciate him sticking with me like that.

When I think of all of this I am crushed. I went into that surgery in 2007 hoping and praying that I would finally be free from endometriosis. Then with me nearly losing my life only to come out still having endometriosis is a hard thing to accept. I now think that I will never be free of this disease.

Recently, my sons were watching the movie Prince Caspian and this morning the song The Call from the movie stuck in my head. Somehow it has been helping me get through. Here are some of the words.

The Call
by Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

This morning my devotional was titled "The Honor Of Your Friendship", the verse "I have called you friends." John 15:15. I know who my friend is...Jesus. He will always be with me.

Tea in the Afternoon

Today I decided to treat my doldrums with some afternoon tea. I like TAZO Tea and my current favorite is Wild Sweet Orange. With my tea I enjoyed an apple and a Madeleine made by Sugar Bowl Bakery. Their Madeleines taste great and they are all natural with no trans fats. Actually, I have been using them to make a quick strawberry shortcake and they work really well for that. After my tea, the boys and I went for a walk. It is a beautiful day out, a little on the breezy side, but my afternoon did pick my mood up a bit. Thank you Lord!

Just Another Day?

I started the day out with nausea and tonight I am in pain. I am now suspecting my troubles are from endometriosis. Mark is having a hard time accepting the possibility that I may still have endometriosis. For that matter I am also. The pain is cycling, but I try to deny it. I have been taking very little hormones, staying off estrogen entirely. I notice the pain has calmed down, but is not entirely gone. All the more reason to believe it is endometriosis related. I have a phone consult coming up with my endo doctor, so will let him know that I have had more bouts of pain and he will want to try the Danazol. I also have an appointment with my bowel doctor this Thursday and hopefully I will learn the results of the biopsy they took.

Despite feeling lousy, I kept doing what I needed to do as best I could. I did have to take some time out to rest and nap. Tuesdays and Fridays are my shopping days. I try to get all the shopping I need to do into those days since the boys are on campus those days. Today's shopping accomplished some good buys at Ross. I got a pretty top for Easter and a pair of shorts. I still have not gained any weight so my old summer clothes are too big. Eric has grown so he needs some new clothes. I managed to find a funky pair of name brand shorts for $10. I was not sure he was going to like them, but turns out he loves them. Whew!

I emailed my nephew this morning. He is stationed in Iraq. He has been working at the palace where President Obama showed up. My nephew missed seeing the President as he wasn't in the palace today. He told me that he is going to be touring Iraq. He said he is not sure if it is safe, so please keep him in your prayers. He is due to come home this month and we are looking forward to seeing him so I hope his travels are safe.

Palm Sunday

Please see my post at Hopes & Dreams.
Glory be to our Savior Jesus!
Blessed Palm Sunday to all!

Beautiful Day

Today I woke up feeling better than I have felt the past few days. It was a beautiful day filled with sunshine and a cool breeze, the kind of day where you want to open the windows. I stayed home doing laundry and cooking all day. Mark taught the boys math in the morning after our breakfast of homemade pancakes and bacon. In the afternoon he ran errands and worked with the boys in the garage doing various fun things. For lunch, we enjoyed soup and salad with homemade strawberry applesauce and a butter cookie for dessert. After lunch Eric went in the garage and did some work on our bicycles, after doing so he convinced all of us to go on a family bike ride. When I came out to get my bike, Eric had decorated the basket on my bike with roses and paperwhites from my garden. We all had a great time riding together. I felt a bit out of shape, I think because I am not completely well yet. It felt good to get out in the fresh air and sunshine, especially with those flowers on my basket. After the ride I took the flowers inside and put them in a vase. The paperwhites smell so good and will remind me of my special bike ride (and my son's love).