Friday, April 24, 2009

The Comfort of a Cozy Bed

Sleeping with a bit of Shabby Chic on the bed makes me feel like a princess. The only thing I lack is a headboard. I am too cheap to buy one and too lazy to make one. So my bed is very simple. I enjoy lounging in my bed writing in my journal, reading the Bible and spending time with the Lord. However, this morning I did not want to rise. I would have rather curled up under the covers and drifted back to sleep. Even so, I rose because I needed to take my boys to school.

Thankfully, Thursday found me feeling like my old self once again. The Danazol had finally worn off. The fog that had enveloped my mind had disappeared. I was free from confusion's grasp and able to prepare meals in the kitchen, read the word of God with clarity and organize my day. Dinner was everyone's favorite and I sugared up some berries and baked homemade shortcakes for dessert. The only problem was that my pain returned. It always begins with nausea and Thursday evening the nausea kept me from finishing the laundry. After putting the boys to bed, the pain flared up worse. It feels like something gets blocked and is trying to get through. I tried to get in a comfortable position to sleep, but I couldn't. The pain kept me up past 2 A.M. When morning came I was not eager to meet the day.

I took two naps today, which felt like heaven. Tonight I am in pain again. Between drugs and pain I feel I am losing the battle. I think of doctors, of surgery, etc. The only real resource, the only one who can fix me, is the Lord. I need to lay all in His capable hands for He himself says "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14.

2 comments:

Sue said...

There is nothing too hard for the Lord! I am continuing to appproach the Throne of Grace in your behalf, dear Becky. I am praying for healing!

fairmaiden said...

I am praying for you. The battle sometimes feels too much to bare. I know you are weary, but I am so encouraged by your unwavering faith. HE is faithful and HE is with you. Keep waiting. Sing from the valley of Achor(the valley of trouble). That is from Isaiah, I think 52 or 54...i will have to go see. Worship is your warfare...worship is your weapon and no enemy can prevail against it. So, keep singing in your heart. Just the very act of you turning to HIm daily is an act of worship. I know He is so delighted in you. I imagine Him gazing upon his people and saying, "look at that one, Becky, suffering so much, yet she loves me beyond her pain, she continues to sing praises to my name and declare Me as being GOOD." Remember "He is coming, and his reward is with him."