Saturday, November 8, 2008


I have been too tired and depressed to be on the computer. I am still struggling with recovery. Even so I got out to vote. It was important to do so as California had some major propositions on the ballot. My heart was sadden with the country's choice for president, but I knew it was coming. I have received two emails from good men of God that we must be praying and be prepared to stand for God. Personally, I began praying last year, as the Lord laid it on my heart to do so. I have begun praying that I will continue to stand for Him no matter what. That my affections would be no where else, but with my Lord Jesus. I am quite aware of my flesh and how weak it is. If I do anything good it is because of Him. Weak as I am, physically and mentally at this time, it is all His power.

There are not only struggles with my condition, but the company Mark works for is having some financial difficulties. The day I came home from my surgery there were layoffs at his place of work. One of Mark's friends was laid off. He is a Christian man and in a good position financially to withstand the layoff. So thankful for that, but still it is hard to be laid off. When Mark returned to work after taking vacation to care for me & our boys, he said the company has installed time-clocks for salaried people. They will begin using them in the new year. I was saddened to hear this. Since the layoffs, Mark has been going in to work early in the mornings and working extra hours as needed. This has added to my load at home, trying to manage the boys has been a challenge. One day I was very depressed and in an effort to get rid of my bad thoughts, I began doing heavy cleaning. The next day I awoke tired and sore. I over did things; it is still too soon for me. I still need naps in the afternoon or evening. My bowel is still healing and does not feel normal, plus I am still having difficulty with eating. It is a hard road right now and I have been a doubting Thomas. Even so God has told me He loves me. He is so GOOD!

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