Friday, November 13, 2009

Our First Showing

Tonight we were blessed with our first showing of the house.  We were not sure that the showing was going to happen at first because the clients were late.  Mark and the boys left for camp so I was here alone to let everyone in.  Our house is not listed yet so no one has access to the key.  They did not take long and now I am here alone with two kitties.

The couple (very nice) stepped in and the wife sighed like she liked it.  Yes!  I was glad Mark took the day off as promised, we got so much accomplished.  When we were done in the afternoon, I sat down in the recliner and fell asleep.  I haven't been sleeping much at night because of grieving so naps are needed.

I did not make any plans for myself since I have been so busy working on the house and just trying to keep up with daily life.  I know that the Lord arranged this time for me.  There was no getting out of it.  I tried to get someone to stay home with me, but was unsuccessful.  Also, I invited a friend to lunch, but she was busy.  I have not been looking forward to time alone because of grief.  Yes, I have grief over what happened with my sweet Bun, but mixed in is grief over what is happening to us.  Selling our home, leaving family & friends and the state I have lived in all my life.  These are not easy things to do.  I am thankful that my husband did not get laid off, but at the same time I wonder why.  Why is this happening to us?  Then that annoying saying chimes in "Why not you?" Grr.  Or, "There are others who have it much worse."  These thoughts are to drive me to thanksgiving; why isn't it working?  I eek out maybe a little thanksgiving, but it isn't much.  I guess I am the stubborn rebellious type. sigh  Mark told me that he has been praying and he feels that we are really going to like it in Colorado.  And bratty me responded "Well, it better be super cool because I feel I am giving up a lot."  Awful aren't I?

I know that I have surrendering to do.  That song "I Surrender All" starts playing in my head.  All to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all.  I think I am going to be spending my weekend working on that.


Sue said...

Dear Becky, don't be down on yourself for grieving. I haven't lived in one state for all my life, but I can imagine how hard it would be to leave everything familiar, and all your family. I did it, but I was 23 and still single - that's very different. Even then, there was a grieving process when I got married and moved here for the long haul.

Allow yourself to work through it all. But, just you wait! God has great things planned for you, even if it doesn't seem like it at first when you are in the midst of selling, moving, and resettling. In His perfect timing, He will give you peace, and blessings you never expected. I'm praying for you!

Becky said...

Thank you so much for your loving encouragement Sue! ((hug))

Rachel Smith said...

I am with Sue. I finally had my dream home---a beautiful, big Victorian with a gorgeous staircase, intricate woodwork, and beautiful character all throughout. We had done so much work on it. I loved it. THEN...God moved us here to Alabama. I was so sad to leave that house. BUT...I know that if God was having me leave all of that , he only has something so much better for me. He knows what my perfect dream home is better than me. I can't wait to get into it. Right now we are still just renters down here in AL.

I do hope that the couple that came through will make an offer.