When I think of all of this I am crushed. I went into that surgery in 2007 hoping and praying that I would finally be free from endometriosis. Then with me nearly losing my life only to come out still having endometriosis is a hard thing to accept. I now think that I will never be free of this disease.
Recently, my sons were watching the movie Prince Caspian and this morning the song The Call from the movie stuck in my head. Somehow it has been helping me get through. Here are some of the words.
The Call
by Regina Spektor
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
by Regina Spektor
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
This morning my devotional was titled "The Honor Of Your Friendship", the verse "I have called you friends." John 15:15. I know who my friend is...Jesus. He will always be with me.
6 comments:
Im so sorry that the endometreosis is back again Becky! But we will just have to keep praying. I know the Lord hears our prayer and nothing-not one thing- is too big for Him to handle!
love candy
It's my understanding that endo is estrogen driven so until your ovaries no longer produce estrogen, your endo will continue to grow and lesion and wreak havoc on your life.
After many years of dealing with endo..the ugliness of it all as well as surgeries and Rx therapies, I opted to have a hysterectomy. For my quality of life. It was a personal, prayerful decision and for me it was the best decision. It changed my life. For 7 months leading up to my surgery, I was on Danazol and loved it. But, Danazol cannot be taken longer than 6 months or so.
My daughter was diagnosed with endo at the age of 16. She'll be 19 in a few weeks. One surgery, Rx (latest being Lupron which she's responding to quite well. She gives herself an injection each month). She has an amazing specialist (who was also mine) that she visits in another state.
I'm lifting you up in prayer. I know the grief of this disease. <><
Bless you,
jAne
http://tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com
In addition...
Surgery for endo doesn't rid you of the disease, it just removes what can be found and excised or lasered from your womb and beyond. Endo lives and will continue growing as long as you have estrogen being produced.
jAne
http://tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com
Hello Jane,
Thank you for stopping by!! I have seen you at Sea Cottage. Bless you for your lovely advice and your prayers! I had a hysterectomy in June 1998, I am sorry I have not written about that in any of my posts. Unfortunately for me, the disease continues to grow. Sometimes I feel like it is my own fault for opting to take low dose hormones at times. I've also been on drug therapy or not taken hormones. It seems no matter what I do I can't get rid of it. To say the least it has been frustrating. I hope that I take well to the Danazol, your post has encouraged me.
Taking hormones, even low dose, can keep that endo alive and growing. ugh.
Danazol: hm. For me it was wonderful..really wonderful. Not so much for a good friend of mine who took it while suffering endo. The docs rarely give it to women now because of the possible side effects. Our specialist opts for Lupron, which doesn't always work for every woman either. It's a hit and miss kind of thing.
My hysto was supra-cervical. Meaning, I kept my cervix and ovaries. I was near full menopause so opted to go through it semi-naturally. About a year post-hysto I began having obvious menopause symptoms and my regular doc put me on femhrt. Sure helped me get through the rough spots which for me were rage and the hot (feeling as if I were on fire) but not the flash (extreme sweating). After a couple years I weaned myself from the Rx and other than an occasional night-sweat I'm doing well. I still have residual endo pain but it's manageable and rarely needs pain killer.
Praying for you,
jAne
http://tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry to hear the endometriosis is back. You are in my prayers, Becky.
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