Closed Doors

Today I went to see my bowel doctor. He is a very nice man and I like him. Last time I saw him he told me that he might have to take a look inside if I am not getting any relief. Well, today I told him that some of the intense pain I was having is better, but I am still having issues. He told me that unless he finds something on a scan he is not going to look inside. He said he is too afraid that he will make me worse instead of better. He said that I have to live the way I am unless I can find someone else that is willing to help me. I told him that I have pretty much decided that the problem is not going to go away on its own. He then suggested that I have another CT scan done, but he said unless I am having one of my flare ups the day of the scan it probably won't show anything. He signed me up for the scan, but I am wondering if I should even go through with it. Since the appointment I have been upset and crying.

I know there is something wrong in there because I cannot gain weight. By now I should be weighing more than I do and I don't because I can't eat enough to gain. Eating causes pain that is all there is to it. At times it feels like the circulation is being cut off and still other times it feels like the food is getting hung up. Other days I have queeziness that lasts all day long.

My endometriosis doctor (who is not close by) said that he is willing to take a look at the spot that I am complaining of. The only draw back being that having surgery away from home is harder to organize and the doors are not open right now. I know that the Lord is in control of my life, but I fear He does not have healing for me.

Bird

This little box that says "Family" tickled my fancy. When I saw it, I just had to have it. It reminds me of my bird. I have been a bit sad because I have not seen my bird for a few days. The last time I saw Bird was on Sunday before I left to see my girlfriend. It is not like him to be gone this long. Recently a Mourning Dove was killed in our backyard. The boys found its feathers on scattered near our plum tree on Monday morning. Probably a hawk as I have seen them float by every so often. Since it happened the birds have not been coming around much. Then suddenly this evening Bird came by! I was filled with joy. He has more dark feathers coming in. It is so wonderful to watch him grow. He gulped down the worms I fed him and then flew off. He seemed very nervous, I guess the recent scare with the hawk has all the birds rattled. I am so glad he is safe and well.

My poll regarding the new background is tied. There are two votes for the plain pink background and two votes for the new background. Hmm, who is willing to break the tie? Leave a comment and let me know which one you like best.

Chit Chat

I had a very nice visit with my friend Sunday evening. It was cold and windy at the beach, but we did enjoy riding a surrey cycle similar to the one pictured above. It was a first for me. Afterward we had a BBQ and just enjoyed each others company. Finally the sun went down over the ocean and it was time to go home. My only regret was that I forgot to bring my camera, so no pictures. :-(

Been having a difficult patch with my tummy, so much pain and nausea. I finally had to take a dose of MOM (milk of magnesia). Today I had less pain, but it looks like I am going to need some fixing in there to set me right. On top of that my nose has been itchy, my allergies have kicked in for some reason.

This week is doctor appointment week. Tuesday, Eric has an appointment with his orthodontist and Mark has an appointment for his yearly physical. Wednesday the boys have their yearly physical. And then Thursday I see my bowel doctor. On the weekend the boys and I are planning to go on a trip with extended family.

A Cottage 4th of July

The boys put the flag out.

My flowers with a bird's nest the boys found.

A garden sign.

Brandon with sparklers.

Eric and his cousins.

Pretty fountain.

A fountain called Purple Rain.

We had a nice 4th of July here at the Little Blue Cottage. We had a great BBQ over at my sister's. I made homemade chocolate cupcakes with white icing for dessert. Brandon helped me decorate them. The city my sister lives in does not allow fireworks, so we all came over to the Blue Cottage. Everyone had a good time.

Lately, I have been having a hard time with my tummy. Lots of pain and queeziness, but I am managing. Today we are going down to visit my friend from Arizona who is camping down at the beach. Looking forward to having a good visit.

Happy 4th of July!

My boys stuck this flag in my flowerbed on Memorial day and I took a picture of it. I thought it was a good picture to share for 4th of July. I was going to host 4th of July at my house, but my sister stepped up and said she would take it. Mark and I are very thankful that she did and saw it as the Lord's way of taking care of us. With all that is going on in our life right now the Lord knew that we would need a break.

Brandon had his turn helping to guard the fireworks stand with his Dad. He was not quite as thrilled with the job as Eric. Mark is pleased to have the boys' company, so Eric is going to help his Dad again tonight. Eric says he is happy to guard because it gives him a chance to help.

Today, Eric and I had a special day alone together while Brandon and Mark slept after guard duty. We went out to lunch at Panera Bread. Then we walked next door to the donut shop for a treat. We had a lot of fun. After that, we had to go to work shopping. Eric needed some shoes and clothes. Not always easy finding what we need, especially when considering price. We had to go to a few stores, but we accomplished our goal. Eric was completely happy with his purchases which makes me smile. On the way home we stopped in old town. Eric introduced me to a bakery that his friend told him about. We popped in and found that the bakery was nearly empty due to the holiday. What they did have looked delicious. We are planning on going back next week when Farmer's Market will be held. That way we can load up on fresh veggies & fruit and then hit the bakery. After going to the bakery we walked over to the nursery and picked up some flowers for my flower pots. We had a very enjoyable day.

Tonight is the last night Mark has guard duty. We were supposed to buy fireworks tonight, but we did not do it because some family drama arose with Brandon. Right now we are having a load of trouble with that boy. Sigh. If you feel lead, could you please pray for Brandon. Mark and I need all the help we can get.

Thankful Thoughts

Today I had to take Brandon to the orthodontist to get his braces. His appointment was scheduled for 7:20 AM! I waited quite awhile and was able to read a few magazine articles. One article was on observing the sabbath. I liked what the author of the article was trying to convey. She used the example of her great grandmother who rested on Sundays. Basically, the writer was trying to say that it is a good idea to take time out to rest during the week, even if it is only for a few hours. And also, that we should not feel guilty doing it. I like that! And I like that my husband is always telling me to take time out to rest, he is so good to me.

Another article I read was about a couple who adopted an orphan from Russia. He was diagnosed with RAD and ADHD, same as my boys. The couple in the article went through a very difficult patch in their marriage as a result of adopting this boy. As I read the article I understood the pressures they went through, the pain and hurt of it all. At the same time, I remembered the struggles Mark and I had. At times we still run into struggles, but the Lord has been very gracious to us. Reading that article made me realize how much the Lord has done for our family and how thankful I am.

Eric had a good time guarding the fireworks stand with his Dad. He came home and slept most of the day. The cute thing about Eric is that he could not sleep until I got back home from taking Brandon to the orthodontist. Once home, I sat in our recliner and Eric laid on the couch and fell asleep. Mark did not get to sleep, he had to go to work. So I packed up a picnic lunch and brought it down to Mark at his work. Brandon, Mark and I sat in the car which was parked in the shade and had a nice lunch together. A cool ocean breeze blew into the car as we enjoyed our lunch. I am so thankful to live near the sea.

Well, I better get into the kitchen and serve up some of that peach cobbler I made for dessert tonight. Wishing you all happy summer days and things to be thankful for.

Lady Bird?

Bird visited a long while with me today. Eric took this picture. We have noticed that Bird has some dark feathers coming in. It looks like Bird is a gentleman rather than a lady. We are learning so much about sparrows from this little bird. Bird comes by everyday, sometimes only once a day and other days 3 or 4 times. Today Bird wanted to take a nap after his lunch. He sat in the plum tree and I stood by the tree. He would open his eye and make sure I was still standing there every so often. After awhile I got a chair and sat down and Bird came down and sat in my hair. He also sat on my shoulder and chatted with me. ;-)

Today was just a lazy day, we did not do much. I do not know what is wrong with me, but I have not felt well. I have been very tired, more than normal. I stopped taking the Arimidex. I decided that I do not want to take anything. I feel crumby enough as it is and these drugs make me feel worse with all their side effects. So I am just going to limp along as best I can with what I have. At least my pain level is down, but I still get that queezy feeling quite often. I have an appointment with my bowel doctor next week.

Tonight all of us are going to bed early. Mark belongs to a group of parents who run a fireworks booth in an effort to earn money for charity. The parents all sign up for different shifts. Mark signed up for the 2 AM to 6 AM guard duty. He will be doing it for the next 3 nights. So things are going to be out of sorts for a bit. The boys want to do guard duty with him, so he is going to let one boy a night join him. The boys are so excited; its cute.