The Little Blue Cottage

Adieu

2010-01-30T10:52:00.000-08:00

I feel the above title appropriate. I found that this little Anglo-French word means "to God". And so should my life ever be lived ~ Adieu!

This is my last post at The Little Blue Cottage. Add on top that I am ill and you will understand why I am feeling quite melancholy. Earlier in the week my youngest son came down sick. He had to go to school as it was finals week and we are moving. That was not good for him and he developed bronchitis and an ear infection. He is on antibiotic and slowly returning to health, however, I have come down with what he has. I pray I do not get as sick as my son. I have been taking herbs and drinking lots of hot tea.

I am still trying to get my men to pack. The boys have packed some things, but the biggest problem is my dear husband. He just told me that if he doesn't pack then he isn't going. Oh, here he finally comes with his suitcase and he is opening drawers of his dresser. My goodness, Dusty has jumped into one of the drawers, maybe she wants to be packed. ;-)

Well, dear friends, I must bid you farewell for now, God bless each of you for being a tool in His loving hand. You have blessed me with your thoughtful caring comments and support in prayer. I sincerely appreciate each one of you. Please visit me at my new blog House on the Hill and join us in Colorado.

P.S. I was quite naughty last night. I slipped out of the house alone and went down to my favorite movie theater. I saw the movie "The Young Victoria". It was absolutely delicious!!! I floated from the theater to my car on a cloud not regretting my naughtiness in the least. However, I did suffer for my transgression as I felt quite ill driving home. Thankfully, a cup of hot tea and rest helped me feel more comfortable.

Ashes

2010-01-29T00:48:00.000-08:00

We received the ashes of our beloved Princess. I set the urn on my vanity with a spray of pink roses and a figurine that resembles Princess. The figurine was my Grandmother's. As you can see Dusty is spending time with her friend. We miss her.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

2010-01-26T23:34:00.000-08:00

I am learning the meaning of this oxymoron from the play Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare. Tonight our friends threw us a going away party. Saying goodbye to cherished friends lifts our hearts, but at the same time we are filled with sorrow.

Things are winding up and down...

2010-01-24T22:10:00.000-08:00

Well, things are winding up for Colorado and winding down for California. The Little Blue Cottage has 4 occupants that are full of nervous knots. For stress we get an A+. LOL I am the only one in the house that has begun packing what I want to take on the airplane. All the men in the house are waiting till the last minute. Hmm. Okay, lets talk about something else.

One of Brandon's friends adopted our last goldfish. The other goldfish died the same week that Princess passed away. A friend of mine is supposed to come by tomorrow and pick up one of my house plants that I have had for years. Hopefully my sister can take the other ones. Two of my plants I am going to take with me via the moving van. I think they will make it, at least I hope they can. The food in our fridge is getting low along with the pantry. It is getting harder to make meals.

This week I have to get Dusty a special kitty carrier for the plane. She also has to see her doctor to make sure she is fit for travel. I am positive Dusty is healthy enough and I am excited to be able to take a plane trip with my kitty. She is going to have a grand adventure winding up in a huge house. I do not think she (nor I) is going to know what to do with so much space! LOL

Chit Chat

2010-01-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, our pet sitter came by and said goodbye to us. She and I got teary not only about me moving out of state, but because of Princess passing away. After her visit, our buyer had his final walk through. He did it a week early due to a death in his family. It was a bit difficult for Mark and I only because we are sad to leave our little house. Our realtor put a sold sign up and it made things seem final. The boys did not like it when I brought them home from school and that sold sign was up there.

Wednesday was also the day that I talked to my endo doctor via phone. I told him the situation with my eating problem (I no doubt had frustration in my voice) and said that the PT has helped other issues, just not the problem with eating. So he said that it is time to take a look inside and see what it going on. Neither of us wants surgery, it has just gotten down to that. Unfortunately, I cannot have it until June. That means I have to live with this pain for 5 more months!

Thursday, I had lunch with two girlfriends. Oh, it was so nice to get together with them. Unfortunately for me, I had a light breakfast and I started to feel like I was weak. Eating lunch made me feel better, but after doing so my tummy pain flared up badly. I never let my girlfriends in on the matter, did not want to ruin a perfectly wonderful time. Tomorrow, (Friday) I am having lunch with another girlfirend. I am probably going to have to skip breakfast in the morning so that I have room for lunch. This whole senario is not helping the issue with my weight. Do you see red flags going up? I do, especially since I keep losing weight. This is a situation that calls for the amazing wonderful work of God!

This weekend we will begin the task of packing clothing and various items for our plane trip. None of us are jumping up and down for joy about the task. In fact, I do not know how much is going to get accomplished as far as my DH is concerned. As the day draws nearer, Mark has taken to sleeping. There he lies on the couch snoring in front of the flickering light of the TV as life goes on around him. It is his best way of dealing with stress. Wish I could do that.

My Prayer Today

2010-01-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

Lord, let me be faithful to you in difficult circumstances. Let me love you more than my own dreams. Let me have humbleness of heart and a teachable spirit. Let my attitude be one of praise and thanksgiving. Let my life bring glory to your name. In Jesus precious name - Amen.

My cherished plans may go astray,

My hopes may fade away;

But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,

For He doth know the way.

~Overton

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

Dear Blog Friends

2010-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Please forgive me, I know it has been a long time since my last comment at your blog. Right now my life feels like this cake looks. Sunday night my parents hosted a "going-away" dinner for us at Bucca. We all had a good time even though it was for a sad occasion. We ate at a big round table called "The Pope's Table". As you will notice behind the cake is a glass box with, yes, the Pope! This head was in the center of a big lazy susan so anyone could spin it around and have the Pope stare. It was pretty hilarious.

Above is a picture of the whole gang minus the one taking the picture. Otherwise the boys and I have been trying to spend time with friends before we leave. The deep pain of parting has been hard to bear at times. Parting with pets, parting with family, parting with friends. Sometimes I get a tad bit irritable, or I sit and blankly stare into space, sometimes I walk around wringing my hands, sometimes I am on my knees and sometimes I am weeping.

My Sweet Princess

2010-01-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

This morning my dear sweet Princess kitty could hardly breathe. We took her to the vet who did tests and found cancer in her lungs. We made the decision to put her to sleep. It is very lonely without her here, she and I were very attached.

The side effects from the shots finally wore off. My tummy is still sore from the PT. Some areas still hurt and others are doing better, except for the spot that hates food. That spot is unaffected. Praise the Lord that it is not in a flare right now, otherwise I would be ultra miserable. Oh, my weight has dropped down to 99 lbs. a bit worried about that. In other news, we cleaned out the garage today. It was not as bad as I thought it might be.

Tummy Shots And A Dumpster

2010-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

This is an update on what it going on. Going to try and make this short because I am expected at the pharmacy. Anyway, yesterday I had my tummy shots. Dr. Lee went a little deeper than I expected, but hey, I got through it. Then Patty, my PT, took over and boy did she ever pull and yank. As I drove to meet Mark for lunch I felt the medicine from the shots had me under the influence. I had lunch and that spot that always hates food, let me know that it was not giving in. The rest of the day I felt sore and out of sorts. I am not a big fan of drugs.

This morning I feel a little less under the influence, but there is still a slight fog hanging over me. I still feel sore this morning. I am on my way to pick up a prescription for a suppository I need to try. It is specially made to relax pelvic floor muscles. I have to do it to see if relaxing these muscles will benefit my bowel. I have been doing exercises to achieve the same thing. I think it has helped other issues, but that "spot" that hates food is relentless. For that "spot" I am supposed to eat a low residue diet. Blah.

This morning a dumpster arrived. Mark ordered it. He plans to go through the garage and whack away at the vine growing on the wall, my overgrown rose bushes, etc. Everyday is a step closer to moving. Sigh. I am not sleeping well, can't gather my organizational skills, etc. Just walking around in a fog and doing the best I can with health trials, moving and teens.

California Time

2010-01-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

Sunday afternoon, the boys and I took a day trip which I called our So. California Tour. We first enjoyed lunch at In & Out Burger. What is more Southern Californian than In & Out? After a delicious cheese burger and shake, we went over to Huntington Beach Regional Park. It is a big beautiful park that holds a lot of good memories of our Cub Scouting days and summer days when I took the boys to the park to walk around. Here below are two pictures I took in the park.

The bare branches of a tree against a winter sky.

This is a picture of the winding path in the garden.

After walking in the garden that is in the park, we went to the Huntington Beach Public Library which is right across from the garden. The library is huge and I think it is one of the prettiest libraries I have ever seen. It has a large water fountain inside the library and one outside. Plus there is a big circular aquarium in front of the children's library.

Indoor water fountain.

Outside water fountain. Such a cool study area for students.

A glimpse of the large circular aquarium in front of the children's section.

After browsing through the library the boys and I walked back through the park and then drove down to the beach. Our favorite is Bolsa Chica State Beach. It was expensive to get in, but it was worth it to see the sun drop down into the sea.

I took this day trip with the thought in mind that it may be the last time we do these things. It is very sad to think such thoughts, but as I stood on the beach, I realized what a grand life I have had. There have been so many precious gifts and I am the owner of treasured memories. I pray that I will feel the same about my future life in Colorado.

My life with teenagers

2010-01-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

It has always been a challenge to mother my two boys, but lately things have been extra rocky. I am trying to be a Godly mother ministering Godly advice. I point my boys to the Lord, trying to encourage them to seek Him. I tell them what the Bible says and pray that they will commit their lives to Jesus. Sometimes I see signs that they are leaning that way, other times I get discouraged. Last night something happened to my oldest son that rocked his world. I have to admit I was not too broke up that it happened. For a boy that just turned 16 three weeks ago, he has been much too girl crazy for his own good. He was trying to balance two girls at once and of course his grades have taken a nose dive. Well, girl #2 found out about girl #1 and dumped him. He did not seem too upset, but then last night he found out something that made him think that girl #1 was unfaithful. This upset him terribly. Thankfully, him and girl #1 have talked things over and decided they are not BF & GF any longer, just friends. Whew!

My youngest son is not involved with girls, thank goodness, but he has his issues as well. He does not handle stress well and has a set of behaviors that can be scary. He tends to need lots of encouragement and understanding when he has his emotional outbursts. Yesterday, he had one and I was blessed to remain calm. He decided to go out for a run to burn off some steam. While he was out some gang members saw him. They told him to come over to their car, which he refused to do. They followed him. My son ran to a friend's house and hid in their garage till they were gone. You see, about 2 years ago there was a gang related shooting at a park a little less than a mile from our home. This is the area where my son went running. Although we do not want to leave our Little Blue Cottage, I think the Lord has great blessing in store for us.

Tonight we are going to have one of the boy's friends spend the night. This boy's parents divorced and it was ugly. Many hurt feelings arose and it hit the family hard. Yesterday this boy's mother went to the hospital. They found she had an enlarged appendix, so she had to go in for emergency surgery. Thankfully, they were able to do it laprascopically so she is up and about today. She looked well and said she was feeling much better. I am sure her son will find some comfort in being with friends while his mom recouperates. I know it will be a blessing to have him with us.

FYI: The information shared in this post regarding my sons has been approved by my sons.

Thank You & Update...

2010-01-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Friends, thank you for your prayers and encouragement, they are very much appreciated!! You are all reflecting the love of God to me. Let me tell you, God's love is amazing and so are you! Sometimes it is hard to talk about my health issues. I have been learning that not talking about these things can be a form of pride. Humbling myself and seeking encouragement & prayer from brothers and sisters is a step in faith. Having the opportunity to pray for one another is a blessing. For starters it is another reason to come before the Lord. The more time in the presence of the Lord the better, don't you think? Second, we get to see the Lord work in that person's life which helps build our faith and theirs. Third, we are loving our brothers & sisters by lifting them in prayer. Its just all good! Last night I felt someone was praying because I had very little pain after eating my dinner. Praise God!!! It is so nice to get a break from the pain, even if it is just for a little while.

I went to physical therapy today, it was a good appointment. Patty explained to me about the shots that I am going to have next week on Thursday. I was relieved to know that they are not going deep; it is going to be under the skin, with lidocaine applied topically. I can do that! We worked at trying to pinpoint that left sided pain I get after I eat. She got on it, but nothing she does releases it. She did manage to get a burp out of me. That means some of the food moved on through, but then the pressure builds up again and even more so if I eat again. We also worked with my pelvic floor muscles which hurt like crazy. Afterward, Patty explained to me with a visual aid about the pelvic floor which I was eager to learn about. And she gave me exercises to do to help relax the muscles, since mine are in a constant spasm. After the appointment I did some thinking and started piecing together my experience and things Patty and my endo doc have said. It is such a gift to be able to understand. Anyway, God blessed me with understanding today and I am thankful. As for my pain with eating, it has been nagging at me all day. I am hopeful about the procedure next week; hoping it will make a difference.

In other news Mark called the moving company and we have dates set for our belongings to be packed up and moved. We have 3 weeks left here in California and we will be on our way to Colorado. I don't know what to say about how we feel, all of us are a bundle of nervous energy. Mark has stayed focused on what he needs to do to move his family, but now that we are getting closer to the actual move he is becoming more emotional. It is hard for all of us to leave the comfort of what we know. At times we think about what the Lord is doing and are amazed, but then that flesh kicks in and we are back to sniffing. For myself, I am starting to focus more on our new home hoping I can make the house a home to comfort my men. I have also been thinking that maybe this move will not be permanent, but that is ultimately the Lord's call. For now, the thought comforts me a bit.

Unspoken things...

2010-01-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

So much is going on in my life right now that it has become overwhelming. One thing that I have not spoken much of lately is my health. I am just going to be blunt, I am in bad pain. The one thing that PT has made better is the nausea attacks, they have lessened, but the pain, that is worse. Right now I am in such bad pain I can't think straight. It hurts to eat anything and my colon is not eliminating normally. I fear that I am becoming a bit anorexic in the sense that I feel guilty for eating. I tend to eat light and sometimes skip meals because of the pain.

The other thing that is bothering me is that next week I am going to have a procedure done. A doctor is going to inject some medicine into my long vertical scar and then my PT is going to be yanking and pulling on it in an effort to losen scar tissue. To put it mildly I am afraid. The medicine is to help lessen the pain, but she has pulled on it a bit without meds and I nearly passed out. I have had things go wrong and so every procedure that I submit to is a big deal for me. Tears are flowing now, I have kept this bottled up for so long. I am trying to trust the Lord, but its really hard sometimes. As long as I keep marching forward despite the fear I hope to bring glory to His name.

Decision made...

2010-01-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

Mark and I stayed up late talking things over. Before going to sleep I got on my knees and thanked the Lord for the awesome blessing of having two beautiful houses to choose from. This morning we got an email from our landlord that helped us make a final decision. Before I go on, I would like to explain. When I first came home from our house hunting trip to Denver I was in tears. The Lord has soothed my broken heart in the comfortable surrounding of the Little Blue Cottage allowing me to prepare myself to relocate. Since seeing the vintage house on the hill, I have of course thought of how I would arrange the house, etc. As I thought about the house I kept having a desire to have wood flooring in the dining area, a more modern bathroom and a laundry room that was not in the basement. With the modern house I can have those desires met. So we have decided to take the modern house. Here are a few pictures below; two were taken in spring or summer and the last picture is the view from the back deck in winter.

A dilema has arisen...

2010-01-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

We have a house on the hill dilema. Our landlord owns two houses on the hill right next door to each other. The house we toured is his mother's house which I shared pictures of. I am going to refer to this house as the vintage house. The house next door is our landlord's house that he used to live in. I am calling his house the modern house. When we toured the vintage house there was a young couple renting the modern house which they moved out of at the end of December. An older couple relocating to the Colorado is currently renting the vintage house since it is furnished. They are awaiting the arrival of their furniture and were going to move into the modern house, but they have taken a liking to the vintage house. So we have been offered the modern house, but if we still want the vintage one we can have it.

The modern house has a master bedroom on the main level and the master bath has a nice tub (which is a plus with me since I love to take bathes). There are two bedrooms upstairs each with its own bathroom. A 4th bedroom is in the basement, but there is no bathroom down there. There are high ceilings and an open floor plan plus a big stone fireplace. A big deck with a nice view is off the kitchen/dining area which is good for entertaining. It would be great if we could tour this home to get a feel for it, but we have to go by pictures.

One of the cons about the vintage house is that I did not like the master bathroom. It was a bit cramped and I did not like the shower stall at all. The other con was that the vintage house has white shag carpeting in the living and dining area. I am thinking that the boys will be tough on it. The modern house has tan carpet and wood flooring in the dining and kitchen area which would be perfect. We are thinking that the modern house might suit our family better, but both Mark and I can see ourselves sitting on that awesome front porch at the vintage house. Sigh.

In other news, we spent new year's eve with my family. New Year's day we had one of the boy's friends from scouts over to spend the night. He is having so much fun with us that he asked to spend another night with us. I am very happy to have him here especially since we won't be here much longer. It is so nice to be able to spend this special time with him.

Winter's Pink

2010-01-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

Our birch tree against a Southern California pink sunset.

The big tree at my neighbor's house.

These gorgeous pink camelias bloom every winter.

So pretty!

2009 in Review

2009-12-30T23:28:00.000-08:00

I started 2009 with a trip to see my colorectal surgeon about the pain in my tummy after the reconnection of my colostomy and here I am at the end of 2009 with the same pain. Hopefully 2010 will bring healing. Mark's place of work went through a transformation so great that many people lost their jobs this year. Now 2010 holds for us a move to Colorado because of those changes. And my boys went from a small Christian private/home school to a big public high school. Definitely, 2009 has been a year of challenge for all of us and 2010 looks to be a year of even greater challenge (and adventure).

Whatever is ahead, we know that our Lord goes before us leading us in paths of righteousness. I am finding for myself, that letting go of what I hold dear and clinging fully on to Him is the only way to survive scary times.

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called...And he went out, not knowing where he was going. (Hebrews 11:8)

Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand; but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand. ~Stanphill

Blessed New Year to All!

Winter in California

2009-12-28T17:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight's sunset was beautiful here in Southern California. The bare branches of the trees against the pink tinted clouds and blue sky was absolutely gorgeous. This is my kind of winter.

My big tree friend is on the left. I am going to miss that tree.

But I will have new tree friends at the house on the hill.

The clouds drift over from the ocean. I love the damp chilly feeling they bring.

Here is Dusty all tucked in for a long winter's nap.

She likes to hide under blankets, silly kitty.

Been Thinking

2009-12-27T16:51:00.000-08:00

We had a very simple Christmas at the Little Blue Cottage. I baked small batches of goodies and made up little packages for neighbors which the boys handed out on Christmas morning. Have enjoyed visiting with family the past few days. Could not help myself from crying at times. It is very hard to let go of what I have. The Lord has been speaking to me about it, telling me His grace is sufficient, that He cares for me. That I need not wallow in the "whys", nor throw a pity party or remain in misery. What I need to do is accept all of what He wants to do for us. I need not understand why, I just need to hold on to His hand so He can help me through. Part of His help is coming through my readers and I am very thankful for your kind words. You are all a blessing!

I have been thinking of the house on the hill in Colorado wondering how it will feel to live there. Wondering what it will be like to live in snow and experience spring. The house is vintage 1960's and I wonder how I will be able to make it homey. I've also thought of blogging from there and decided to open a new blog leaving this blog as a memory of my Little Blue Cottage. I have not decided on a title for the new blog yet, although my friend Fairmaiden at Sea Cottage gave me a couple of great choices. I will be blogging from the Little Blue Cottage till the end of January 2010. Then we will move to temporary housing and wait for our belongings to catch up with us. I will have internet access while in temporary housing, but the house on the hill does not have internet access. Definitely the connection will have to be put in fairly quick because Mark needs it for work.

Otherwise, I am having trouble with my tummy. On our trip to Denver it flared up bad. It may have been due to stress, PT or both. When we got home I thought it would let up, because I was home, but it has kept up. Tomorrow I go to PT in the morning.

Blessed Christmas

2009-12-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

Wishing all my readers a Christmas filled
with the Savior's love.

Sincerely,

Becky

Tell me what you think...

2009-12-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

This is the house we are going to rent in Golden, Colorado.

This is the view.

The Lord is blessing me with all this and I am afraid to go.

I want to stay in warm, green California with all the traffic, noise and pollution.

But then there is this verse:

"Do not be afraid, neither be dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with you where ever you go."

Joshua 1:9

Choices

2009-12-21T21:46:00.000-08:00

We filled out an application for renting a house today. The house we applied for is down the hill from the 3000 sq. ft. house we looked at on Sunday. It is a little brick house in excellent condition. It is owned by a man in the military who is currently overseas. The only problems with the house are that the one car garage looks too small for our mini van, there is no place for a dining table and the bedrooms are very small. On top of that there is an apartment building in back of it. Even so it had a lot of good qualities, plus it was affordable.

We decided the house on the hill was a little too expensive. Mark called the owner for the 3000 sq. ft. house and left a message telling him that we have to pass. A while later we got a call from him and he lowered the price because he really likes us and wants us in the house. Mark and I talked over the pros and cons of each house. That pretty much made me a basket case because there are quirks about both. We decided that it all boils down to us being afforded an opportunity of a lifetime, to be able to live in a home with a beautiful view. The house is not perfect, but it is a family home and part of the history of the city of Golden.

I cried hard again today, I am so scared to move. Tuesday afternoon we fly home to our Little Blue Cottage. I am thankful that I get to come home for the holidays, but at the same time I am terribly sad. Thanks to all who have been and are praying for us. Your prayers are very much appreciated.

Sorrow and then Golden

2009-12-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I have decided that this Christmas season we are like the holy family. Here we are in Colorado looking for a place to settle. We have been making phone calls, knocking on doors, etc. We most definitely have had our faith muscles stretched.

Saturday I began crying, hard. It was a discouraging day trying to find a place to live. I was sad that we sold our house and I began begging and pleading with the Lord to let us stay in California. Mark came along side and assured me that we are doing God's will and that the Lord is blessing us. I cried more and finally I wore myself out and went to sleep. In the morning we had decided to go to Golden, Colorado. It is a small mountain town not far from Mark's place of work. A very nice couple invited us to come up and see their home. We found them on Craig's list which we were told is the best tool to finding rental property in Colorado. Anyway, the home is old, but very well built by the owner's father and maintained by the owner's mother. The house has 3000 sq. ft. and sits on top of a hill with a view. The high school is just down the hill and is a very nice school. Downtown Golden is quaint, charming and beautiful. Mark and I agreed, we like Golden and if we have to live in Colorado, we would like to live in Golden.

We have a few more houses to tour on Monday and then we will make a decision. Please keep us in your prayers, that we will follow the Lord's leading. Thank you! P.S. I found two more pennies today! ;-)

Exploring

2009-12-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

Today we spent the day exploring the west side of the Denver area. It is cold with snow and ice on the ground in places and the trees are bare and gray (not my cup of tea). We saw a frozen pond, a deer and Canadian geese which was wonderful. Our day was full of sunshine and meeting new people. While out and about we were able to view two rental homes. The first home was in a desired area, but the home itself was not in good condition. The second home was in decent condition, but it was a far distance from where Mark will be working. As I toured the 2nd home I began crying. I just cannot get into this whole Colorado thing. I want warm, green California and my Little Blue Cottage. I want it to feel like Christmas, but being here in Denver doesn't make that happen.

The interesting thing is that at each house I found a penny. What does this mean? Well, the Lord and I have an agreement that whenever I find a penny it means He is with me. So finding these pennies was not a coincidence. Then when we got back to the room a girlfriend called and encouraged me. So in every way the Lord is sustaining me. Tomorrow is another day to explore and find a place to live.

Here

2009-12-17T21:48:00.000-08:00

Well, here is Denver and I am using Mark's laptop to post. I have been telling myself that this trip is no biggie because we will come back home, but on the plane I couldn't fool myself. As the plane lifted up in the air my tears began to flow. Looking down at the ocean and my lovely California I realized that it is no longer going to be what I call home. The plane flew over the deserts of California & Arizona. Then we passed over the red land of Utah into the mountainous land of Colorado. All the snow and cotton ball clouds looked beautiful. As we approached Denver I saw the flat plains which looked like pictures I have seen.

While we were up in the air, the young couple that is buying The Little Blue Cottage were showing their parents the house. I am thankful that I will be able to spend Christmas in California with my extended family before we move. I am going to need mega strength to accomplish the final separation from my beloved California. I know that strength has to come from God. Before I left home a grabbed up my monthly letter from Dr. Charles Stanley and put it in my purse. Before we boarded the plane I began reading it and soaking up the wonderful words of encouragement.

"Life is full of change. But if we focus on how different things can be from one day to the next, we may feel insecure and discouraged about the future. So as you think about all that has happened this past year, I encourage you not to dwell on the ups and downs, the mountains and valleys, or the triumphs and troubles. Instead consider how God has been absolutely faithful through it all. (Lam. 3:22-24)"

"Hebrews 13:8 tells us, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Our Savior remains consistent and steadfast regardless of how uncertain our lives may appear. Time has no effect on Him, and our circumstances never surprise or confuse Him. Our heavenly Father is in control of everything that has happened, that is happening, and that ever will happen here on earth." ~Charles Stanley

Good News!!

2009-12-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

We met with our realtor and received good news regarding the appraisal. We made money! It is truly the blessing of God. He has been so good to us! I feel so undeserving of His great kindness. I would say that the Lord definitely wants us in Denver, therefore I must obediently go even though my insides feel otherwise. I am doing everything I need to do to get to Denver, but my flesh is kicking and screaming. A war is raging inside me.

My house is a mess with clothing, suitcases and Christmas stuff. We leave in two days for our trip to Denver. Oh, we found a cool rental house on Craig's List and we are going to check it out while we are over there. The house is close to where Mark will be working and the local high school is good. I am sure that the Lord will lead us to the house He has for us.

A Gift

2009-12-14T22:34:00.000-08:00

Outdoor Mom at Yaak Adventures, has graciously bestowed me with this blog award. Thank you so much Outdoor Mom!! Readers, if you have not visited Outdoor Mom's blog, please do, she is such a blessing! Her blog is full of encouragement, humor and love.

The rules for accepting this award are to copy and change the answers below to suit you and pass it on. Answers can only be one word! Pass the award to a deserving blogger and alert them they have been awarded.

Here are my answers to these questions:
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your hair? brown
3. Your mother? fiery
4. Your father? quiet
5. Your favorite food? bread
6. Your dream last night? crazy
7. Your favorite drink? tea
8. Your dream/goal? heaven
9. What room are you in? guest
10. Your hobby? blogging
11. Your fear? widow
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? settled
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something you aren’t? sinless
15. Muffins? pumpkin
16. Wish list item? health
17. Where did you grow up? California
18. Last thing you did? pack
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Your TV? noisy
21. Your pets? relaxed
22. Your friends? kind
23. Your life? service
24. Your mood? thankful
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? van
27. Something you’re not wearing? hat
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
32. Your best friend? Jesus
33. One place that you go over and over? bathroom
34. One person who emails you regularly? Facebook
35. Favorite place to eat? home

I am sincerely grateful to Outdoor Mom for this award *blush*. However, due to the current constraints on my time I will not be able to pass this on right now.

Emotions Show the Cost

2009-12-14T00:21:00.000-08:00

Latest events? Friday evening we had a very small party for the boys for their birthday. They each got to invite a close friend for dinner. A good time was had by all. Saturday was a rainy day. On that day we heard from our realtor regarding the inspection. Things need to be worked out, but basically nothing is going to be completely hashed out until we see the results of the appraisal. We might get news regarding the results of the appraisal on Monday (12-14).

My little gray kitty named Princess (or Cess for short) is sick. She has a respiratory disease. She has been on two courses of antibiotic, but she is still sick. I am worried that her time is coming. It has been weighing on me.

Many thanks to those of you who have posted comments of encouragement, I am blessed! I have been having many strong emotions about our upcoming move. In the Sunday message God spoke to me about surrender. Then I realized that obedience to the Lord costs something, that is why I am having feelings about moving. Faith is taking a step out even when it looks dangerous just because He said to. I think about our salvation and how much it cost. Jesus laid down His life for us. This is love: a willingness to sacrafice (to surrender). Am I willing to love Him back?

Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:27)

Awesome Day

2009-12-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

Last night I was so upset that I had trouble going to sleep. I also was having a tummy pain which did not help. Anyway, I was thinking that there was no way I could stay for the inspection. I mentioned it to Mark and he said that I did not have to stay if I didn't want to. That took some pressure off, but I felt the Lord gently nudging me, saying that I would be blessed if I stay for the inspection. I finally fell asleep and that made a big difference, because in the morning I felt able to be obedient.

Today was amazing! Our buyers are Christians! I enjoyed talking to them and they are thrilled with the house. When we first listed the house I believed that the Lord would bring the right buyer to our house and I am thrilled with how everything is turning out so far. The Lord is able to do above all that we ask or think.

The other amazing thing is that everyone encourages us about Colorado. Everytime I tell anyone that we are moving there they perk up and say it is beautiful, you are going to love it, etc. I am taking it as the Lord's encouragment.

Strong Feelings

2009-12-09T21:50:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a luncheon & meeting at Mark's office. The meeting was about the move to Denver. I met all the people that are going. Management was there and everyone asked questions and got answers. Going to that meeting got me all worked up about the unknowns. How everything is going to work out, etc. It scares me, but the Lord reminded me that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above anything I ask or think. That comforted me and I have decided to leave it all with Him. Everyone was joking about the weather, because even though we are having a cold snap here in Southern California, Denver is much colder. As I drove around I started to notice how green it is here and flowers that are blooming. I have always taken it all for granted, only now do I realize how blessed I have been to enjoy such beauty. Then I got a really strong feeling that I do not want to leave, stronger than I have had before.

Unfortunately, I think I am coming down with a cold. Certainly, I have been under a lot of stress. Tomorrow is the inspection with the buyers, I am hopeful that after a good night's rest I will be feeling well enough to get through the day.

What a day!

2009-12-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

I knew today might be challenging, but I did not expect many of the things that happened today. It was one of those days where things happened one right after the other.

I woke in the morning and worked hard to get the house neat as a pin for the appraiser. After that I was off to see my PT (and this time on the right day). Anyway, the past few days I have been in quite a bit of pain in my tummy. Eating is causing pain, no way around it. It has been hurting so much that I have been skipping meals. I told my PT how much pain I am in and that I am skipping meals again. She said that isn't good because I am already skinny. Anyway, what she did today felt so good and helped, but then I eat and the pain comes back. She and I are in agreement about what is going on with me, which I feel relieved about that. She said that the function of my bowel is off and that with all the work she has done it should be functioning better, but it isn't. She said that something is preventing my bowel from functioning properly. So it is looking more and more like the only answer is surgery. Even so, I am going to continue PT through December and January. We will see what God does.

After my PT appointment, I rushed home and the appraiser was already there. I am thankful that my husband and our realtor were there to meet him. We should know the results by the middle or end of next week. While Mark and I were talking to our realtor I got a phone call and it was Brandon. He was in the school nurse's office because he fell down while at PE, hit his head and blacked out. He did not want to come home, but the nurse said since he blacked out, he has to. Thankfully he is doing fine, except for a headache. I am blessed that he is okay.

Later, I picked up Eric from school and went to return an item to Costco. While there I noticed some cool fully lined sweat jackets. Knowing Eric needs more warm things for Colorado I had him try one on and he loved it. Well, somehow during that time I dropped my jacket and didn't know it. When I was at the check out my Mom called, she said she got a new cell phone, but she couldn't get it to work. Since we were not far from her house I told her we were on our way. The sun was going down and it felt cold so Eric put his new jacket on. While driving I realized I was cold and wondered where my jacket was. We had to go back to Costco. I gave Eric my membership card so he could run in, find the jacket and then leave. Well, I had to park the car because it was taking him longer than anticipated.

When we finally found each other in the parking lot, Eric had a tale to tell. Some of the store staff noticed he was wearing that new jacket and approached him. They were thinking he was a shoplifter because they asked him if he paid for the jacket. Eric said he had 3 employees around him, one being a big burly man that was scary. Thankfully, one of the clerks in the clothing area remembered Eric and me and knew that we bought the jacket. So funny to know that people are watching us when we do not even know. After all that excitement it was a good thing that my mom's cell phone fix was as easy as pressing two buttons.

Christmas Time

2009-12-05T20:56:00.000-08:00

My oldest son had a friend over tonight and I took them down to a place in town where they have lots of Christmas lights and music. We had fun walking around viewing the lights and the kids got some hot chocolate. It was a great way to spend a Saturday night.

This week had its twists and turns. For one, I wrote my PT appointment down on the wrong day. I showed up for my appointment on time, but a day late. Unfortunately, there was no room on my PT''s calendar to reschedule. Then I had a phone appointment with my endometriosis doctor. He got hung up with a patient, so I did not hear from him until 4 hours after my scheduled appointment. The conversation went alright, but we were both tired. I had to tell him that the PT has not made much difference. I do wish that I could say differently. Even so, I am going to hang with it till I move to give it a good try.

I spent one day of the week walking around in a fog. This time of year has always been stressful for me. Not only because of Christmas, but both the boys' birthdays are in December. Load on top of that escrow, a garage sale, and a trip to Denver, and I think I have valid cause to be stressed. As my realtor says, selling a house and moving is one of the most stressful things in our lives.

Friday afternoon, my Dusty kitty was enjoying herself in our backyard when all the sudden she burst through the sliding glass door that was left ajar. She had spit hanging from her mouth and a wild look in her eye. Then she started gagging like something was caught in her throat. I had to leave her to pick the boys up from school. We ended up taking her to the ER vet. They checked her out and said she was fine, but she has a heart murmur. We brought her home and praise the Lord in the morning she started eating again. She is still having a little trouble with a cough here and there, but I pray she will heal from whatever happened.

We got the papers for escrow in the mail. Our agent was in Hawaii this week, but he emailed us and let us know what is going on. He told us the appraiser is coming on Tuesday. Eek! We need prayer! My realtor told me that I have to make sure the house is looking good and it might be a good idea to bake cookies. Hopefully, we can appraise at a good price. Thursday the buyer is coming with an inspector. In short, it is going to be a high stress week for me.

Inventory

2009-12-02T10:30:00.000-08:00

This morning I rose early and got on my knees by my bed. I looked out the window at the big tree on my neighbor's property. I have enjoyed that tree for 18 years and it feels like a friend. To think that soon I will no longer see it makes me sad. I remember raking up its leaves in autumn to make a pile for my boys to jump in. I remember Gentleman Bird flew to that tree when he was first flying. So many precious memories! I managed to pray a bit, but mostly these days it is the basic "Lord, please help me." My mind traveled to the thought of greeting a man from the moving company. My body filled with anxiety. Every step is a step toward separating from what I know. The good thing in all this is that I will not be separated from God.

Mark dropped the boys off at school and then came back home with a pumpkin muffin from Panera Bread. As we enjoyed a hot beverage and munched on our shared muffin we talked about moving. Shortly after finishing our muffin the man from the moving company arrived to take inventory. As he went about his business, Mark and I stood in our little house remembered the day we moved in. We embraced one another thankful for our good memories.

All of us are having anxiety about the move and it comes out in different ways. Mark and I have been struggling with attitudes and behavioral issues concerning our sons. Each of us is looking around and realizing that we may be enjoying something for the last time. Today we live in our home and the next thing we know we will be in a strange place. In a few weeks we will be boarding a plane to this new place we are going to call home. We will explore Denver for five days looking for the spot God wants us to settle. This will be a very important trip for our little family.

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

And though this world, with devils filled,

Should threaten to undo us,

We will not fear, for God hath willed

His truth to triumph though us.

~Luther

On this last day of November

2009-11-30T13:35:00.000-08:00

I want to give thanks to my blog friends for all their support and prayers over the past year. Your words of encouragement have meant so much. God has used you in my life for good. Thank you!

A Walk in the Park

2009-11-28T21:36:00.000-08:00

Today I enjoyed spending time with my youngest son, Brandon. We went to a park in Irvine that has a lake.

We walked down long winding walking paths.

Till we were down by the lake.

It was a beautiful autumn day. The air was nippy with a light wind. Rain clouds passed by overhead.

We sat on a bench and talked, enjoying our time together and the lake.

Ducks floated by on the water.

After our time enjoying the park we walked over to a small French cafe for some hot chocolate and a chocolate croissant.

On the way home I stopped to take a picture of some autumn trees near our home and collect some colorful fallen leaves.

Hiking with my Son

2009-11-27T21:58:00.000-08:00

Today I spent some time alone with my oldest son. The teen years are challenging and a good way to get through is to spend time together. I decided to take him hiking.

It was good to get out in nature and enjoy the scenery. We had some issues to work out and thankfully the Lord blessed our time.

Being a mom is a tough job, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a parent to my sons. After our hike and a soul searching discussion, we enjoyed a grand lunch at Nordstrom Cafe. The cafe is never very crowded, has delicious food and wonderful view of the hills. We had a lovely time together and came back home refreshed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T22:55:00.000-08:00

From the Finley archives

Thanksgiving Day 2003

Wishing everyone a blessed day!

Moving On

2009-11-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at my computer in my Little Blue Cottage knowing that I only have two more months to live here. Yes, our counter offer was accepted and signed Tuesday morning. In the afternoon, Mark had the pleasure of meeting the sweet family that is buying our house. They are a young couple with a little boy. The husband is a veteran. Mark said that they are very happy with the house and that they stayed visiting for quite some time. While they were visiting I was having lunch with a girlfriend. She and I met when I moved into the Little Blue Cottage 18 years ago. She was my neighbor across the street. We used to watch each others homes and pets while we were away on trips. I sometimes babysat her girls and her girls babysat my boys. As I remember all my many years of blessing here at the cottage, I pray that the new little family will be blessed as we have been.

My PT appointment went very well. She hit all the major spots today. We are getting closer to what may be going on in there. She has discovered that I have some scar tissue around my diaphragm on the right that is causing the pulling or pressure I feel on that side of my ribcage. She did some deep tissue massage there and it hurt like mad. Then she did some lifting of the tissue and I realized that I could breath more freely. I do not like to think about the mess inside my body, I just try to focus on the Lord. My PT is not sure about the left side yet, but is confident that there are some things adhesed together. She is going to try and break this tissue up so as to free up organs to function better.

In the evening I joined my men at a scouting event. They were all so happy I came. We went bowling! It was a great way to end our day.

More Wow!

2009-11-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I sit and type this post, I can hear my wind chime ringing. The Santa Ana Winds are kicking up again. It certainly has been very dry here in Southern California.

Well, we had two buyers look at our house today, one in the morning and one in the evening. In the afternoon our agent came by and informed us that we had another offer. This one was also over our asking price. I am overwhelmed by the Lord's kindness to us! Today Mark and I countered one of the offers. I am nervous. Once we settle the offer, there will be a home inspection to get through and the appraisal. It is nerve racking because each little piece feels like a domino and if any piece wavers, it could fall and knock all the other dominos down with it. The Lord knows and all is in HIS control.

I have been in pain since last week. The past few days I have been in a lot of discomfort. Tomorrow I am seeing my PT so I will let her know. Also, I got a call from my GP. She let me know that my bone scan results came back. I still have osteopenia. Having a complete hysterectomy at age 37 and not taking estrogen replacement does that. The good news is that osteopenia does not always lead to osteoporosis.

Wow!

2009-11-22T16:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is about all we could say to the offers we received. Both buyers like the house so much that they are offering $10,000 to $20,000 above our asking price! Both Mark and I never expected anything like this. And our house has only been listed 3 days! We are taking time to think the offers over. There is still a lot that has to be gone through yet, the biggest one is the appraisal of the house. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

The other thing that has my head spinning is with these two offers, we are looking at moving sooner than I expected. We could possibly be looking at the month of January 2010. The Lord knows and has it all under HIS control of course. I leave it all to Him.

Family Day Trip Plus

2009-11-21T23:45:00.000-08:00

Today we decided to take our annual trip up to Oak Glen to enjoy a day in the country. At first our teenage boys were not so keen on the idea, but once they got up there they enjoyed themselves tremendously. It was good to get away from all the stress that we have been feeling at home and enjoy ourselves out in nature and eat some delicious food.

Here are all my men in their cool shades.

The shades of autumn were gorgeous.

Once home it was back to stressville. Later in the evening we got a call from our realtor who told us we have two offers on the house that are worth considering. We had one earlier in the week that did not work. So that makes three offers in one week! We will be meeting with our realtor tomorrow.

A November Walk in the Park

2009-11-20T21:13:00.000-08:00

Today was a busy day. After Mark and the boys went off to school and work, I got myself ready for my day. First on my agenda was making the house tidy in case realtors decided to drop by. Then I went off to the lab to get my blood panel done. Today was not a good day for that. I got stuck 4 times before they got enough blood out of me. After that I grabbed a bite to eat at Starbucks and went over to Mark's office. We chatted for a bit and then I was off to my physcial therapy appointment. After that I jumped in the car and went to pick the boys up from school. They only had a half day today. On half days I also pick up their friend and let him stay at my house till his mom gets off work. When we got home we noticed two realtors had stopped by and after a few hours of being home we got a call that a 3rd realtor was coming. It was time for the boys' friend to go home so I dropped him off along with Brandon who had been invited to stay and hang out. Since it was just Eric and me, I decided to go to the park. I brought my camera along and took pictures.

Chit Chat and More Thanks

2009-11-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been busy and on top of that, I did not feel like posting. Probably because I have been a little bit sick with a cold. Tuesday I got my bone scan done and was so glad to get that checked off my list. All that is left is a blood test and mammogram. I meant to do the blood test twice this week, but keep forgetting. By the time I remember I have already eaten breakfast. The blood has to be done first thing in the morning before eating breakfast. I will try again tomorrow.

Wednesday was Mark's birthday and I was busy all day trying to make it special for him. Today I cleaned the house real good for a meeting with our realtor (more about that below). Then tonight was 1st quarter report card night at the high school. We picked up report cards for both our boys and then got to speak with some of their teachers. Brandon is doing well at school and we are proud of him. Eric is doing well in certain classes, but in two of his classes he is not doing well at all. It does not have anything to do with capabilities, Eric tends to be on the gifted side. The problem is that he is not motivated and there seems to be nothing to motivate him. It is a very hard spot for a parent to be in with their child.

Today I met with our realtor. He said that the couple that came through last Friday really liked our house. They liked it so much that they wanted to make an offer, however it was a low offer. So we decided to list the house and see what happens. God will get us to Colorado, just that sometimes I would like to know how it is all going to work out.

I still feel very sad about my losing my bunny rabbit. This past Tuesday marked one week since she passed. Even now just writing about it brings tears to my eyes. I feel I did not get enough time with her. Her death was so sudden. Then tonight I read at Tickleberry Farm this quote...

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than houses. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who nevertheless, set aside a day of Thanksgiving." H.U. Westermayer

This made me realize that instead of asking "why", I should be thanking God for the time I had with the bunny. So, I have begun to whisper, "Lord, thank you for the time I had with Bun." Hopefully it will be the ointment to heal my broken heart.

Thanksgiving in Action

2009-11-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

When the boys come home from camping with the scouts, they usually bring home leftover food items. Such as a jug of milk, 10 lb. bag of potatoes, a jar of peanut butter, chorizo, etc. Oh, and last week, Mark brought home a bag of delicious tangerines from a friend at work. This got me thinking about my blog friend Outdoor Mom who writes about free food she gets at her house. Really it is a blessing from the Lord, a tangible way to see that He is indeed providing for us. It is a cause for thanksgiving.

Now not everything that we get is "organic", but recently I read in 1 Timothy 4:4-5 "For everything God made is good, and we may eat it gladly if we are thankful for it, and if we ask God to bless it, for it is made good by the Word of God and prayer." So this verse convinced me that everything I eat need not be entirely organic. If God brings it may way and I am thankful for it and ask His blessing on the food, it is good to eat.

So I took the potatoes and milk the Lord provided and started making a pot of potato soup.

Then I used the peanut butter and made up a batch of peanut butter cookies, which I gave the boys as a snack when I picked them up from school.

We prayed over our meal and we are most certainly thankful for the Lord's blessing. Hmm, next I will have to come up with a way to enjoy that chorizo.

A Wonderful Surprise

2009-11-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I decided to visit my favorite antique shop called Country Roads. Amazingly I brought my camera along. Originally I was going to go on a hike, but with the Santa Ana winds blowing I decided against it. Going to Country Roads makes me remember my blog friend Candy who visited Country Roads last year on a holiday with her family. Anyway, when I arrived the parking lot was full. Hm, I wondered what was going on. I had to go around the corner and park in front of Lemon St. Flats.

These quaint little apartments look like a picture from Europe. I walked over to Country Roads and it seemed busier than normal for a Sunday afternoon. Then I noticed this sign once I stepped in the entrance.

I stood in front of the sign and noticing the time I thought Rachel had surely come and gone. But I was wrong. As I walked through the store I finally came to the place where Rachel was signing her books. I saw her very clearly. There was a counter blocking the usual opening, I was not very far from her. There was a huge mirror in back of her and I could see my reflection. I went around to the door where you could line up to buy a book and have it signed. I was much too shy to go up, plus I really do not have the money to spend on her book right now. So I settled for these pictures.

I also took time to enjoy the store as well.

After enjoying my afternoon I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items and then came home to my kitty who was sitting on the couch waiting for me. I call Princess my Shabby Chic kitty.

The Lord Knows

2009-11-14T18:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, the Lord knows me. He knows me better than I know myself! Why do I doubt? It seems so silly to doubt the Lord, but that is what my flesh does.

This morning I woke up feeling exhausted even after a good night's rest. The events of the week really have taken a toll on me. The Lord knew and He planned a fantastic day of rest for me. It was a beautiful crisp fall day today. The chill in the air made me want to take a nice warm bubble bath in the morning. Later I had a chat with my best girlfriend. In the afternoon I drove over to a shopping center that is in between two small lakes. As I wandered through the outdoor mall I came to an opening where I could see colorful fall leaves against a blue sky and the lake beyond. I did not have my camera so a missed photo op there.

I have been asking the Lord to speak to me. He has, but when I wandered into a bookstore I received confirmation. I found a book by Anne Graham Lotz titled "Why?" I could see that the Lord has a sense of humor. Practically all I have been saying to Him is "why" and so He sends me a book with that title. Another thought that the Lord has placed in my head is thoughts of Joseph. First he was thrown into a pit by his brothers. I really started to think about that last night. Joseph kept calling to his brothers from that pit and they had no mercy. How would I feel? Unloved, that is how I would feel. Can you imagine how he felt when they sold him as a slave?

I think of Joseph among strangers in a strange land. He never let go of the Lord, even in adversity. And then the dream God gave him finally came true. And when that dream came true, God made it even better with the reconciliation with his family. But it all happened in God's timing. The trials and tribulations that Joseph endured made his connection to the Lord stronger. Yes, I want to be like Joseph. And while in the bookstore reading various books I even came across this message about Joseph confirming what the Lord had already laid on my heart.

After purchasing some books, I stopped at a French bakery to oogle at the goodies. I left, put the books in my car and then noticed a bridge that led to a park. The sun was setting as I crossed the bridge that a small stream meandered under. Paths wound through the green grass of the park and beyond was the other small lake. As I walked through the park, a chilly wind blew and I zipped up my sweather and brought the collar close to my neck. I viewed the expanse of green grass and whispered to myself that Bun would like this park. As I kept walking it seemed I was walking into the setting sun. Another bridge lie ahead and as I went across it, the tops of the golden trees peeking over the bridge made me feel close to heaven.

On the way home I stopped at Panera Bread and bought myself a cheese danish. I do not know why, but it seems like a good thing to have with a warm cup of tea on a chilly fall day. Once home my kitties greeted me; I thank God for His ever present love and care.

Our First Showing

2009-11-13T18:47:00.000-08:00

Tonight we were blessed with our first showing of the house. We were not sure that the showing was going to happen at first because the clients were late. Mark and the boys left for camp so I was here alone to let everyone in. Our house is not listed yet so no one has access to the key. They did not take long and now I am here alone with two kitties.

The couple (very nice) stepped in and the wife sighed like she liked it. Yes! I was glad Mark took the day off as promised, we got so much accomplished. When we were done in the afternoon, I sat down in the recliner and fell asleep. I haven't been sleeping much at night because of grieving so naps are needed.

I did not make any plans for myself since I have been so busy working on the house and just trying to keep up with daily life. I know that the Lord arranged this time for me. There was no getting out of it. I tried to get someone to stay home with me, but was unsuccessful. Also, I invited a friend to lunch, but she was busy. I have not been looking forward to time alone because of grief. Yes, I have grief over what happened with my sweet Bun, but mixed in is grief over what is happening to us. Selling our home, leaving family & friends and the state I have lived in all my life. These are not easy things to do. I am thankful that my husband did not get laid off, but at the same time I wonder why. Why is this happening to us? Then that annoying saying chimes in "Why not you?" Grr. Or, "There are others who have it much worse." These thoughts are to drive me to thanksgiving; why isn't it working? I eek out maybe a little thanksgiving, but it isn't much. I guess I am the stubborn rebellious type. sigh Mark told me that he has been praying and he feels that we are really going to like it in Colorado. And bratty me responded "Well, it better be super cool because I feel I am giving up a lot." Awful aren't I?

I know that I have surrendering to do. That song "I Surrender All" starts playing in my head. All to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all. I think I am going to be spending my weekend working on that.

Cottage November

2009-11-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

This was Thursday's evening sky.

Autumn flowers around the cottage.

Today was a busy day. I was up early and left the house by 7 a.m. My PT appointment went well. Afterward I did some grocery shopping. I almost started crying because I always buy veggies for Bun, but she isn't here anymore. Thankfully, while I was shopping Mark called me to ask how my PT appointment went. That helped me not cry in the store.

I went home and put the groceries away and then I was off to my doctor appointment. I need to get a blood work, a mammogram & a bone scan done. I will have to set that up next week. Then I met Mark for lunch. We go to a little French cafe. The manager knows us because we have been going there for years now. Today he wasn't there when we first arrived, but when he came back from a delivery he came over to our table and said "Hello, friends!" He is so very sweet.

After lunch I did a bit of shopping, but I just felt too sad to enjoy it. After that I went to pick up the boys from school. Once Mark got home from work we all started working on the house. We moved some furniture around in the boys room and the guest room. We also moved more things out of the house and into the garage. It gave all of us a sad feeling. Friday Mark is taking a day off from work to help me finish cleaning up the house. Thank God!

Thank You and Staging Pictures

2009-11-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

Thank you to those who posted regarding my sweet Bun. Your sympathies mean so much!! Losing her makes everything seem unbearable right now. She was so very sweet and loving. Whenever I came in the backyard she would come running to me and circle my feet. She was always so happy to see me and of course I her. She would always shower me with kisses. Having to let go of that is very hard. Thankfully, the boys being home and us working hard to get our house ready for showing was a great distraction. Except in the late afternoon, when I visited Bun's hutch, it hurt really bad. I just cannot do anything with her hutch right now.

I am posting some pictures of the house. There is so much to do yet, but we are making progress. Tomorrow I will not be able to work on the house because I have to be at a physical therapy appointment at 7:45 a.m. I may be able to stop at home for a few hours, but will have to leave again for another doctor appointment. Planning on having lunch with Mark after that, then run over and pick the boys up from school. We all will have to be working on the house in the evening and the guys will need to be packing their gear for camp too. At least I have Friday to put the finishing touches on everything before our realtor comes.

This is a new chair I bought at World Market a week ago. I got it $10 off the sale price because I bought the floor model, the last one they had.

Here is my dining room with a new rug. After the picture I changed the plates on the wall to my Friendly Village ones. It just makes it look a little more autumnish.

Here is the powder room with the new white baseboard and no wallpaper border. It looks so fresh and clean.

Just little touches here and there have been made which I hope will help. Put up the soap dish on the wall all by myself. A new switch plate helps make things look clean.

Here is the master bedroom all freshly painted and staged. We haven't put anything on the walls, I . With the new paint job and a little less furniture this room feel very spacious.

Sad

2009-11-10T20:36:00.000-08:00

I do not have a better title for this post. This morning I got up and started working on getting projects completed around the house. The cats wanted to go out in the backyard so I went into the yard with them. While out there I checked on dear sweet Bun (our rabbit). I noticed she was not feeling well, so I took her out of her cage and petted her for awhile. Then I put her back in her cage. I went to go do something and came back to check on her and she was flopped on her side and convulsing. Afterward she was limp. She had this look in her eye that I will never forget. I knew she was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I rushed her to our vet, but she died there, her heart stopped. I feel like this is the straw that has broken me. You can scroll down the page and see her picture on the sidebar.

In the evening Mark came home from work and told us that someone wants to see our house. They are coming on Friday at 5 p.m. I will be here alone because my men will be going camping. Our agent said that it is one of our neighbors that wants to see the house, they are looking for a home for their parents. Our house is not even listed yet, so it is nice that someone is already interested.

The painting in the powder room is done. The bedroom is almost done (we still need to paint inside the closet). We are starting to move things back in the bedroom. The boys have Wednesday off from school so we will continue to work on the house.

Lunch

2009-11-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

Today the Lord blessed me with the company of a very sweet Christian lady. I met her through homeschooling. Last year her doctor discovered cancer cells in her uterus and she had them frozen. She was doing well, but then during the summer this year she had a complete hysterectomy because the cancer came back. We enjoyed much conversation over lunch. When it was time to go we hugged and she said that she had fun. I am so glad she did. As I walked away I found myself wishing I could be more like her.

Busy

2009-11-08T00:02:00.000-08:00

Everyday, I try to do a little bit of work on the house. As I was painting in the powder room Saturday morning, I noticed someone out front looking at our for sale sign. After that person went on by, the boys said they saw another person looking at our house. I am glad that people are interested.

The work is going slow. Mark does not have a good attitude about doing the work. He did some painting Saturday morning also, we broke for lunch and afterward I took a short nap. In the afternoon I did more painting while Mark watched football. I went to check on his job, it needed a 2nd coat to look right. He flat out said he wasn't going to do it. So rather than get angry, I picked up a paint brush and started painting while he and the boys went to the archery range. By the time they got back I had the 2nd coat finished and then some. After all that I made dinner and did some laundry. Thankfully, Mark helped me with dinner. While working in the kitchen together he said that he thought about me while at the archery range and knows that he is very blessed.

The other day I was thinking how the Lord directed us to put the boys in public school. Now I know why. There is no way that I could be home schooling the boys right now with all that is going on and is going to go on. Plus having them in public school has made it easier for me to schedule my PT appointments. As for the boys, some aspects of public school have been good for them. Like PE, they are both loving all the sports. Then other aspects not so good, such as the morality stuff. Right now my oldest son is more intent on having a girlfriend than studying. For awhile he was hooked up with a gal and they were talking on the phone for hours. Then all the sudden they split up and he reconnected with his girlfriend from elementary school. So now she calls our house several times a day. Mark and I have counseled Eric, but being a headstrong individual, our counsel is met with rolling eyes. His reasoning is that if other kids can be in relationships why can't he? At least our son is obedient in that he does not go off behind our backs. Praise God!

More Beauty

2009-11-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

This the evening sky I enjoyed on Thursday.

Autumn leaves on our birch.

My yellow rose in full bloom.

Some times when I dwell on my upcoming future I can barely tolerate the tumultuous emotions welling up inside me. My face is lightly touched with dew as fear of separation consumes my soul. Yet in this storm my Lord speaks kindly to me, reminding me that He will take care of me. This morning I was given a verse to hold to my heart. Luke 22:41-42: He walked away, perhaps a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed this prayer: "Father, if you are willing, please take away this cup of horror from me. But, I want your will not mine."

The Power of Thanksgiving

2009-11-04T16:54:00.000-08:00

Its November, and naturally my thoughts rest on the holiday of Thanksgiving that takes place this month. I have noticed that the holiday of Thanksgiving does not get much attention. Where I live, retailers start putting out the Christmas gear just before Halloween arrives. Sort makes me wonder about Christmas. With this in mind, spiritually speaking, there must be something really powerful about Thanksgiving.

This morning I went to my PT appointment. My PT was running late so I got to sit in the waiting room a half hour before being called back. I did not mind because I felt hugely stressed and I needed time to unwind a bit. I picked up a magazine and began to comb through the pages. I landed on a great article which I felt was just for me. The article talked about many of things that I am dealing with in my life right now. It was encouraging me to let go and not worry. They also talked about a study that was done with people that were depressed. The patients had to log into a website and list 3 things that they were thankful for each day. They said after weeks of doing this many of the patients were no longer depressed.

In Psalm 92:1-2, it says "IT IS GOOD to say, "Thank you" to the Lord, to sing praises to the God who is above all gods. Every morning tell him "Thank you for your kindness," and every evening rejoice in all his faithfulness."

Today at my PT appointment part of my job was to lie down and relax as some soothing music played. All the sudden I found tears streaming down my face. Bottled up emotions rose to the surface and were released. Afterward, I was given a prescription, not of drugs, but of how to spend my time. I need to spend 20 minutes everyday, completely relaxing. To me this means I need to spend 20 minutes of each day with the Lord, just sitting at His feet. I need to think on His blessings and rejoice in His faithfulness. What a perfect month to begin my voyage into the power of thanksgiving.

Two of my blogger friends have spoken about being thankful on their sites. Check out Rachel who is going to try and write one thing she is thankful for everyday. And my friend Outdoor Mom who talks about the power and importance of having an attitude of thanksgiving.

Oh, by the way, its official, the Little Blue Cottage is up for sale. The boys and I came home after picking them up from school to see this...

Looking for Beauty

2009-11-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

Today I looked for beauty, this is what I found.
Our birch tree at dusk.

Antiques!
The table and glass birds belonged to my Grandmother.
The milky glass vase belonged to my mother.

With the house all tore up from painting, this is my little bit of heaven. A Gold Glow rose next to my bed.

This is a beautiful sight! Kilz all done and one coat of light blue paint on the walls in the powder room.

Off to Work I GO...

2009-11-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

Here is Mark's work in progress. Moving a bit slow due to not feeling well.

Here is one of my works in progress. Finally got done with the patching stage, now applying the Kilz and will soon paint color.

Please view my Hope & Dreams blog for a few recent posts that will hopefully give encouragement.

A Better Day

2009-10-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a much better day at the Little Blue Cottage. We all worked on the house together. Then in the evening we got ready to go to the family Halloween party at my brother's house and celebrate Grandpa's birthday. The boys and I got dressed up in our costumes (as seen above). I remember last year this time I was feeling so sick after the reconnection of my bowel and having had the ileus that I did not dress up or go to the party. This year I was healthy enough to have fun with my boys and for that I praise God.

The Good, Bad and the Ugly

2009-10-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, one of the best parts of my day was meeting my new physical therapist. I really like her! She set me at ease right away and I actually feel excited about working with her. She did an evaluation today. I am going to be seeing her once a week for the next two months. I am hopeful that this will help me get past the issues I have with my tummy.

As far as our progress toward putting the house up for sale, well it was not a very good day for that, but that's okay. The boys had the day off from school. Mark decided to stay home from work to try and get some work done on the house and employ the boys in his efforts. He also was not feeling well and so was a tad grumpy. We have not been seeing eye to eye on some issues. He has put so much pressure on himself to get the house on the market. Anyway, words were said. After I made lunch for him and we prayed, he softened up a bit. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

A Calm Day

2009-10-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up with a cold so I did not do any heavy work. My cold is pretty light compared with that flu I had, even so I had to take a couple of naps. I took some pictures and thought I would share them with you all. Above is one of my kitty Dusty in our sunroom looking out at a beautiful fall day here in Southern California.

Here is my "Autumn Time" basket. I finally got it out from storage. Brandon commented how it made him feel warm and cozy.

I've been going through all our stuff here at the cottage. Years of memories. Maybe these look sort of disgusting, considering that it is very old Play-doh. These are jars that Eric made when he was little. As you might guess I am a sentimental pack rat. Oh well, one is a tomato and the other almost resembles a green pepper. I took a picture of them just in case I decide that it is time to toss them.

Feeling Topsy Turvy

2009-10-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, thank you so much for your prayers on our behalf!! I am very blessed by your caring comments.

I have been working hard the past two days, going through things, cleaning and making repairs. Also trying to keep up with the daily chores and errands. I am overwhelmed. Mark called our realtor and had him come by the house Monday night. Mark has ants in his pants and wanted to sign papers to list the house. The realtor asked how long we wanted to wait before going public with our listing. I said two weeks, but Mark said 1 week! Sigh. After the realtor left I was pretty upset, but amazingly my stomach calmed down. That sure was a welcome relief! Tonight it is back to hurting, but not as bad as it was.

This morning the termite man came by for an inspection. Thankfully, there is only a little problem and easily taken care of. Whew! Out of the blue, Mark applied for a job here in California today. He says he does not expect much to come of it. Still, he did it! Oh, and his Mom had knee replacement surgery on Monday. Mark has been worried about her.

After school today Brandon told me that his gym shorts were stolen. Sigh. Eric has come down with a cold, which Brandon and I are coming down with it tonight. I heard that it is going around at the school. If it gets bad, I would like Mark to postpone the listing going public till we get better.

I am listening to the train whistle blowing and the engine chugging along. The winds have picked up and I can hear my windchimes chiming every so often. The air is chilly tonight and I have a cup of hot tea waiting for me. I bid you a good night and blessings to all!

Been Working & Havin Tummy Aches

2009-10-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

Hello all, went to a birthday party for my two nieces on Saturday. I do not know how my sister managed it, but both her girls were born in October. We went skating at the roller rink and then had lunch with cake afterward. Everyone had a wonderful time, but talking about our upcoming move was sad. The reality of leaving family behind is heartbreaking.

This afternoon I was reading on a website about staging a house to sell. I got some good tips. It said to disassociate myself with my house. So the Little Blue Cottage is no longer my home it is just a house. Sniff. But the Lord gave me this verse, Psalm 119:37 "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way." This verse really spoke to me. After all, my beloved cottage is just an earthly dwelling. The Lord is seeking to loosen my grip on earthly things causing me to grow closer to Him. Thinking on this, I realize this is a pretty awesome thing! Okay, back to the tips, I have to de-personalize, which means taking down family photos. Then I have to de-clutter to create a sense of spaciousness. We are also making some small repairs right now. Here below is a picture of my powder room this past spring and then a current one.

This is the powder room with a wallpaper border.

And this is the powder room now with the border ripped off and patching. The border was peeling away in spots. I am going to paint where the border was and then paint the base board white. I am hoping that this bit of work will help my tiny powder room feel more spacious.

I hear my wind chimes ringing; that means the Santa Ana winds are blowing. I checked the weather in Denver, Colorado; they are expecting snow showers. Having lived in California all my life I don't know what snow showers are. Will I prefer snow showers to Santa Ana Winds? Hmm. In other news my tummy has been acting up real bad. It is not fun to eat right now. I only had two meals today and they were not that big. I hate it when it gets like this! We will see what the physical therapist says this coming Friday.

My Sons

2009-10-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite picture on a Christmas morning. Hello all, for some reason I feel compelled to write about my sons. I have attempted to write about parenting my boys a few times before, only to delete the post. When I could not have children of my own I turned to adoption. Mark and I prayed and we both felt strongly lead to adopt from the county Social Services Agency that I had worked for. One of my jobs was to type the roster for the children's home and I even visited it a few times. Children in the county system have issues; some are born addicted to drugs, some have behavior issues, and others have development problems, etc.

Mark and I went through training to be foster parents and waited for a match. However, nothing can fully prepare you for what you are getting in to. Our day finally came and we received two special needs children into our home. Both of our boys have RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) which is no piece of cake to deal with. I knew I did not have what it takes to parent these boys and told the Lord so. It was in obedience to Him that I stepped out and told the social worker I would adopt them.

The thing about RAD children is they are defiant regardless of consequences. They can easily take on the victim role. This makes parenting difficult. Have you held a small child in your arms only to have them spit in your face? Or kick you in the back of your head? Even so, the Lord blessed me and I have develop an attachment with both of my boys. My parenting is backwards from normal though. RAD children tend to be destructive to themselves. As a result I have given my children good things regardless of their behavior. I know this sounds very odd, but I tell them that I am doing it because I love them. It is based on me, not on them. I let them know they do not deserve it because of their behavior, but because I love them. This has healed some wounds.

We knew of another couple that took in a foster girl with RAD and wanted to adopt her. They loved her and worked with her. They took the opposite parenting technique from us. Discipline was heavy at their house. They said they were standing on God's principles and the child needed to conform. The girl never saw the point of it and she felt victimized and unloved. The relationship grew hostile, till one day the girl ran away. She was picked up by Social Services and she told her social worker that she did not want to return to her foster parents. She said they were mean and she hated them. The couple was heart broken. They repeatedly tried to re-establish contact with her, but the girl refused it.

My boys are good boys, they do not smoke, drink or do drugs. They do not slip out at night. We are blessed that they actually enjoy spending time with us. Often times I get discouraged, hurt, impatient, or worn down by their defiant behaviors as any normal parent does. When I do I try to think about the Lord and how He has been so loving and kind to me even when I have not responded the way I should. This helps me to continue to pursue patience with my sons. There are times when my sons do obey my direction and these are huge accomplishments, but then they backslide and ground must be regained. Some areas are untouchable it seems, behaviors are not easily parted with and remain a Rubik's cube.

When I had my near death experience in 2007, the Lord made it very clear to me that I was healed from sepsis to continue on with my work with the sons He gave me. I was impressed with the knowledge that the Lord deems my work important. So I continue to be here for my sons as the Lord has directed. Rebels that they are, I encourage them to rebel for the right reasons not the wrong ones. If you feel led of the Lord, please say a prayer for my sons, that they would give their full heart to Jesus and trust Him. Thank you!

Our Visit With the Realtor

2009-10-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

Our real estate agent is a very nice man, however, he did not have good news for us. There are a lot of foreclosures and short sales in our area. Many of these homes have sold for low prices thus bringing down what we can get for our house. Granted, most of the houses that are selling are not in good shape or just a shell. We have some cosmetic repairs, but our house is in good shape and so he is thinking we can ask a bit more for it. There is just no telling which way the market is going to go.

We talked with him for 2 1/2 hours. At one point while talking about our situation tears came to my eyes. Basically, we are going to lose everything. At best we will walk away owing nothing. There is also the possibility that we will have to walk away owing some money thus draining our savings. Or take a ding to our credit by entering into a short sale. It is time for us to walk by faith not by sight. We definitely need prayer!!!

A Touch of Autumn

2009-10-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

Please visit Hopes & Dreams for some encouragement.

Another Day

2009-10-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I prayed over my kitty. This morning I woke up to find that kitty's eyes are not watery anymore. She still has a little sneezing though. Then I noticed my other kitty, Dusty, sneezed. Oh no! I called the vet and let them know and they prescribed medicine. Right now they have stopped sneezing, so I am going to keep an eye on both of them. If things take a turn then I will go ahead with the antibiotic.

I did a lot yesterday, I guess a little too much. Some of my symptoms from the flu are plaguing me again. Blend in my tummy issues and a bit of irritability and you have the whole picture. Even so I ran my errands.

This evening Mark came home from work and announced that the real estate agent is coming to our house on Thursday evening. We may have a for sale sign up before long.

Reality Check

2009-10-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I will be honest and say that I have been a bit depressed with moving weighing on my mind. Recently I spoke with a couple of family members and found that I am going to be missed more than I originally believed, which makes me even more sad to have to leave. Then I got an even bigger reality check when Mark came home for lunch today. He told me that the moving company contacted him at work. They told him that he needs to contact them 3 weeks before we are set to move. They need to come and take stock of all our belongings. Then just before we leave they will pack everything for us and move it. After telling me that, Mark asked me for the phone number of our neighborhood real estate agent. I gave it to him with a sad look on my face. He called and left a message. The last reality check of the day was when Mark came home in the evening with booklets, maps, etc. about the area of Denver we are planning on settling in. I read some of the material and got a good feeling, but something in me keeps yelling "No, I don't want to go!".

In other news, our kitty, Princess, has recovered from her shots, but now her respiratory disease is acting up again. She is sneezing a lot and her eyes are watery. I hate to see her struggling so much especially since she had been feeling so good after finishing her prescription of antibiotic. Princess may be old and skinny, but I'm telling you, the girl still has spunk! I am going to have to take her in to see the vet again and I know she isn't going to like it one bit.

Boys Are Home

2009-10-18T22:28:00.001-07:00

It was nice to have some peace and quiet over the weekend; even so, Mark and I are happy to have our boys home again. They had a great time at camp, but were happy to be home. When we came to pick them up at the church they happily came to greet us and they gave me hugs. After they got all their gear put away we piled in the car and went to In & Out Burger. At home the boys got showers and presented me with their dirty laundry. After that we all relaxed and took naps as needed. In between napping and doing chores the boys and I worked on this jigsaw puzzle above. A few years ago I started a tradition of working on jigsaw puzzles. I start one either in the summer and/or autumn. As you can see this puzzle is almost done.

In other news my tummy has been acting up with pain again. I have been uncomfortable and irritable today. I finally got an appointment to begin physical therapy on Oct. 30th. We will see if that does anything. The way I feel today, I don't think it is going to help much, but I pray it does.

Day Off

2009-10-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

Mark and I sent the boys to camp this weekend. They are camping in the desert with their Boy Scout troop. Usually Mark goes to camp with them, but this time he decided to stay home. Mark and I are having a day off from parenting and it feels wonderful! LOL

We went out to lunch and then we drove down the coast. Unfortunately, we did not get a good look at the ocean due to fog. Still, it was wonderful to just drive down the coast and enjoy the fog. It was beautiful. I am so going to miss the ocean when we finally move to Colorado. We enjoyed shopping at an outlet mall and I found a pair of boots that I can wear in the snow. That will come in handy while in Colorado. After shopping we drove toward home and I fell asleep in the car. Before going home we stopped for a yummy dinner. It has been a heavenly day!

The boys got 1st quarter grade cards on Thursday. I found it strange that not all the teachers reported. Whatever, Eric's grade card was not good. Along with his grades came a letter letting him know that he is in danger of getting kicked out of the school (because he is an out of district transfer). Eric has till the end of the semester to bring his grades up. Brandon's grade card was better than his brother's, but he has some improvements to make. Anyway, both boys have been lazy and trying to get away with not doing their work. Eric told me that he thought he could scoot by, but not at this school, they are tough. I have had to trust the Lord about the school change and I think I am seeing why they needed the change. There are lots of lessons they are learning.

This week we took our kitties in for their bath. Princess was due for her vaccines so when she got her bath they also gave her shots. She is older and just got over a respiratory infection. Well, she had a reaction to the shots and poor kitty came home feeling horrible. The next day I had to take her in again and let them know. They gave her some medicine to help her. She is feeling a little better today, so I am thankful for that, but I am still keeping my eye on her. Princess used to be someone's kitty, but was abandoned. It's been 5 years since we found her at the elementary school all skinny and sickly. Poor kitty has had some hard knocks in her life. Even so, she is so sweet.

Please visit my Hopes & Dreams blog for my recent thoughts on my future move to Colorado.

Raindrop Roses

2009-10-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

It rained steady all night and I woke up to a wonderland of crystal studded roses. I like how some of the roses gently bow their heads as if they are praying.

I had been resting as much as possible and felt quite good yesterday. I decided to use my energy to do a bit of cleaning which I guess was not the right thing to do as I am feeling unwell again. This flu has weakened my body so much that I am having a hard time regaining my strength. The only thing I can do is rest, which day after day can be hard. Sometimes I just want to get out of the house.

Tuesday nights the guys go to Boy Scouts. I decided to slip out to a movie. I adore seeing a movie by myself and I've been wanting to see the movie Bright Star (which is rated PG). It is based on the life of the poet John Keats and his romance with Fanny Brawne. I thought the movie was beautiful. The cinematography was gorgeous, the costumes, especially the dresses of Fanny were beautiful and of course the poetry quoted was romantic. However it was a very tragic romance! At the end tears flooded my eyes and spilled over in a rush. Coming away I felt a bit depressed, but I think it is worth seeing for the beauty. Coming soon will be a movie about the young Queen Victoria and her romance with her husband. I am looking forward to seeing it as it is also rated PG.

Had to Rest

2009-10-10T22:21:00.001-07:00

I over did things on Friday, too much too soon. With me still not being over the remains of the flu, I just don't have my spunk back. Friday, I forced myself to change my bed covers and move in my new nightstand. That involved a lot of work and I got a horrible backache in the evening. At the end of the day it was very nice to crawl into a clean bed, but I was so overtired that I felt horrible. So this morning I made the decision to rest.

This is a picture I took last weekend, after my fever broke. I had not been outside for a couple of days so I went in the backyard to enjoy the cool blustery autumn day. I remember wishing I was well so I could cook a meal for my men. Today, I did some cooking, but my skills were not in top form. I did alright with lunch, but dinner, well, it could have been better. The veggie stew came out fine, but my biscuits were a bit over baked. For dessert we had burned pumpkin pie. Even so my men were happy campers.

My mother in-law called today. My father in-law finished up his last treatment for his cancer. They are coming by to visit on Sunday before heading for home. They are going to return some dishes that I lent them to use at their rental home. I am hoping they won't mind a messy house. I haven't felt like getting things in complete order. At least the boys got the lawn mowed front & back and the car washed. That helps. And Eric helped me put up my some of my autumn decorations on the porch and in the garden. I still have more decorations to put up in the house, but haven't gotten to that yet. Oh, and my flowerbeds need work, but that will have to wait.

Girl Time

2009-10-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Here below are some pictures I took a while back, intending to use them in a post, but never got around to it due to the flu. I am still not 100% yet. Thinking about it, I am never 100%...LOL. I think I can manage an 85% with this body. Anyway, don't these pictures make you think of girl time?

I've read the All You magazine and it has a peanut butter cookie recipe in it that I want to try. I was going to make them last week and actually softened the butter for the recipe, but came down with a fever. The Southern Lady magazine has very pretty pictures and has some nice articles. I have not gotten to the Better Homes & Gardens one yet. I've been waiting for the right moment.

As you can see, I love polish. I need to give myself a pedicure real bad. I started one before I got sick. I had my old polish removed, toes clipped, nails oiled, etc. I just never got the polish on. Now it has been so long that I have to begin again, but that is okay I need the pampering.

The other day I treated myself to lunch with hubby and some shopping. I decided to let myself have an afternoon off. Today I worked very hard. With moving on my mind I am thinking about getting the house in shape to sell. Let me tell you, it is an overwhelming thought. There is 18 years worth of living in this house and that is not going to be easy to wade through. It is times like these when worldly possessions become a burden. Makes me remember when Jesus said, "One's life does not consist in the abundance of things he possess." (Luke 12:15). We definitely are going to be working on lightening our load as much as we can. And there is cosmetic work that needs to be done, thus a trip to Lowe's to pick up some paint chips. I've got my colors picked out, just waiting on my body to get a little stronger.

Distraction #2

2009-10-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

Pictures of Colorado in the Crested Butte area.

This morning I had to pick up a long time friend of my boys and take him to school. I have been around many of the boys' friends since they were little. I have watched them grow up right along with my boys. It has been a blessing to be able to be there for these boys. To give them a ride when they need it; to have them over to my house. I have memories of scouting events with them and camping trips. I've also been around to witness trials in their lives. When I leave California, I will miss these boys and their families.

So much emotion welled up inside me today. I was out running my errands and all the sudden while driving tears streamed down my face. Once I got home I cried some more. It felt good to get it out. I continued on with my day, but was struggling. Then tonight Mark had on a travel show about Colorado. The host was going through a little town called Crested Butte. All the sudden it hit me what the Lord wants to give me. I sat amazed and excited about what I saw on the TV.

This brought to memory a trip to Colorado. Mark and I took it before we adopted the boys. We stayed in the San Juan mountains. I remembered the slower pace, the beauty and the friendly people. We met an artist in one of the small towns and watched him blow glass. He was also a bow hunter and told us a tale of an encounter with a bull elk. I remember Mark and I didn't want to leave Colorado.

Through all this, the Lord has brought me peace about the move (at least for now). And not only peace, but excitement! Who knows, more emotions may rise to the surface, but tonight I am thankful to the Lord for His blessed loving kindness!

Distracted

2009-10-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

It has been hard to think about writing. I have been busy trying to get over this flu. Today, even though I felt weak, I went out and did some grocery shopping. I did not feel so good doing it, but I made it through. I had to take a nap afterward, but I was able to do everything I needed to do today.

Thanks to those that responded to my last post. Your words of encouragement and your prayers mean so much!! On Monday, Mark turned in the paperwork to accept the job in Colorado. Ever since he did that I have felt depressed. I do not want to leave. All of us are a wash of emotion. I keep thinking what I am leaving behind and uncertain what I will be gaining.

Also, there are feelings coming out regarding my extended family. As I have mentioned before on my blog, I am the only Christian in my family. So some members of the family are not sorry to see me leave. This hurts quite a lot. Even so, it is part of the process of drawing nearer to the Lord.

Still Sick and Some Shocking News

2009-10-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you to those of you who have prayed for us. Turns out that Mark is fine, he just isn't getting sick. Praise God!!! But we had to cancel our little trip away, so that was a bummer. The boys are better, but not all the way. My fever got up to 101.8 at the highest. It finally broke this morning and the rest of the day I have had a low grade fever. This flu is a tenacious beast. I still feel miserable and I am not able to what I usually do.

Okay, imagine, there I am sick with a fever and my husband comes home and tells me that his company is closing up shop here in California. Then he tells me that they have offered him a position in the Denver, Colorado. Yeah, shocking right? The boys and I were stunned to say the least. All of us are native Californians, we have lived in California all our lives. My family is here, our friends, doctors, dentist, etc. We don't want to leave, but we have no other alternative.

The unemployment rate in California is the highest it has ever been. Even if Mark can land another job, how long will it take? If he has to take a cut in pay we won't be able to afford that because the cost of living in California has gone up. Then with the property values down we will be blessed to break even on our house. Right now nothing looks good to me.

I don't quite know how I am going to say this next part. Those of you who know the Lord, well, I know you will understand. A few years ago, the Lord put a strong desire in my heart to want to move. I felt if we were going to move it was definitely going to be the Lord's doing and I had to leave that desire completely with Him. It was around that time the Lord impressed on me the state of Colorado, saying we would move there and I would not be happy about it. I knew that a division of the company Mark works for is in Colorado, but at the time Mark's company was stable.

Time went by and I put the moving thing on the back burner. I decided I need to bloom where I am planted here at my little blue cottage. Then the news came that Mark's company was bought by a company in Germany. I watched as things changed within the company. Then the layoffs. Now, years after I was impressed by the Lord, Mark comes home and says we are moving to Colorado. When Mark spoke those words I was shocked, but at the same time I knew...this is the Lord's will for us. I do not know how it will work out, what is there for us, etc. I just have to trust and obey.

So dear readers, please follow me on my journey and see what the Lord is going to do.

Prayer Request

2009-10-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

Could you please pray for me. I felt like I was making a come back from this flu, but today I feel worse and I have a temperature of 100 degrees. The body aches are horrible and my chest hurts. Thank you in advance for the prayers.

Chit Chat

2009-09-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

Today I got a special blessing. My husband came home weary of all the trials in his life and placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. He said I am worth it all. After working all day he always looks forward to coming home to see me. Then he wrapped me in his arms and hugged me for a long time.

I am thankful the boys had Monday off from school for Yom Kippur. It gave them an extra day to recover from the flu. I was not sure that Eric should go back on Tuesday, I worry about him since he has asthma, but he did just fine. Brandon still has head congestion & some coughing, but he is doing okay. Me? Well, I am still struggling, I have been coughing and I feel weak and achy yet. Even so I have been doing housework as best I can. My tummy is still having some issues. Thankfully, some of them are better, but others are still bothering me. I have been unsure if it is my usual tummy problems or the flu. Seemed like a combo for awhile and it was very uncomfortable.

The sad thing is that Mark is finally coming down sick. We were supposed to go on our weekend trip to the sea this Saturday. This is the last weekend that Mark's parents can watch the boys for us. Mark is determined to go, so we will see what happens. Besides that I got a report from the school regarding my youngest son. Seems he has not been doing his assignments. I tell you, there is never a dull moment at our house.

Pain, Parties & Fever

2009-09-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a hot day and that evening our house was an oven. Unfortunately, the flu claimed another member of our family that night, my youngest son. So both the boys were down with fever. Eric was at 101 and Brandon, 102. I mothered both of them as best I could with a terrible tummy ache. I woke them and made them drink every few hours. All the while, a loud party was going on next door. In case you don't know, loud music irritates me. Add to the mix that there has only been one quiet weekend without a party in our neighborhood and you can understand why. The boys being with fever slept through the racket, which made me wish I had a fever.

For awhile the music was turned down to a bearable level. Maybe another neighbor went over and complained Mark and I thought. It was during that time I was able to enjoy visiting a few blogs and pick out some new wallpaper for mine. As we waited for the party to end so we could get to sleep, we realized that the music had gotten louder; so loud that we could feel the vibration of it under our feet! I was about ready to jump out of my skin with irritation. Desperate for peace and quiet, I knew I had to leave the house. I declared to my husband that I was leaving to mail a letter. He was not sure that I should be mailing a letter at 10:30 PM, but he did not want to hear my long impassioned commentary on the evil of partying neighbors.

As I drove away I felt a great sense of relief. I mailed my letter at the deserted post office, but after that I did not feel like going home. So I parked somewhere safe, took out my trusty pink cell phone and called hubby. Bad news, the music was raging on with no end in sight. Knowing my city ordinances on loud music, I encouraged him to call the police. We ended our call and he made the dreaded call. As I laid in the backseat of the van trying to sleep, my cell phone rang. It was Mark with the grand news that the offending neighbors had turned the music off. It was ten minutes after midnight. I carefully made my way to the driver's seat of the van. As I drove home I passed by the bank that has one of the huge digital thermometers. It displayed a temp of 61 degrees and the car's thermometer displayed 69 degrees. I always wonder which one is right. Whatever, I was thankful to come home to a cooler and quieter house.

Swine Flu?

2009-09-25T14:54:00.000-07:00

The boys and I have a weird virus troubling us. What we thought was just a bad cold, took a turn for Eric and myself. Eric woke up with a fever of 101.4 this morning and all the symptoms of flu with nausea. I wondered if it was Swine Flu. I got on the computer and surfed the net a bit. The only noted difference I can make out about this Swine Flu from regular flu is that there can be an absence of fever along with intestinal symptoms (nausea, upset stomach, diarrhea, vomiting). In my case I have not had a fever, only 99.4 at the highest. However, I have had diarrhea, some nausea and an upset tummy along with my respiratory symptoms. You can read about the Swine Flu here and here.

Autumn Path

2009-09-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

Autumn Trails
By Charles White

When pressures mount because we walk
The path of truth and right,
We can rejoice to know that we
Are pleasing in God's sight.

~D. De Haan

His Loving-Kindness

2009-09-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

It is the middle of the week. We are halfway through. Whew! Yesterday was a rough day. I woke up worse than the day before, my voice set itself to whisper. I did not do much, but then the drama began when I picked the boys up from school. I showed up a little late and even then the boys were dragging. I became impatient knowing we were late to an orthodontist appointment. They brought a friend along that needed a ride. I obliged. He was kind enough to have me let him off at a spot nearby his home, not off my course. We got to the appointment late, of course. After enjoying a chat with Eric and reading recipes in a magazine the tech appeared with Brandon. They grade the kids on their teeth brushing and Brandon got a D. That is bad because not too long ago he got his teeth cleaned at the dentist. Sigh. Now either Mark or I has to sit in the bathroom and make sure he brushes his teeth!

That was not the only drama that went down. We learned about another encounter with the principal due to another fight. Undone homework assignments, lousy test scores, but praise God, a found book! Then the cherry on top was my that my oldest son has to write an essay about a member of the family. He chose me as his subject. What he wrote needs some work, but what he chose to write meant a lot. I tend to think my work at home does not amount to much and that I am not making an impact, but the Lord let me know otherwise.

Summer's End

2009-09-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

Painting by Oleg Shtykhno
Autumn Flower from the Garden
2003

"The proof of spiritual maturity is not how pure you are, but your awareness of your impurity. That very awareness opens the door to God's grace." ~Philip Yancey

Oh, its one of those mornings, huh?

2009-09-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

First I woke before 6 AM because of bad dreams. Having bad dreams usually means that I am sick. Well, I woke with a sore throat, so yep, I am sick. I guess whatever the boys have isn't the same thing I just got over. Then I heard my bowel talking to me which led to a visit to the bathroom more than once. My husband's alarm sounded and he roused the troops. I thought maybe Brandon should stay home since he has been coughing, but he insisted on going to school because missing a day means doing make-up work. While the guys were getting ready I messed with laundry, folding a clean gym uniform for one of the boys (the other forgot to bring his home). Then I heard Mark on the phone, he was talking to our vet about our cat Princess. She has had a snotty nose with sneezing for weeks. Mark gets off the phone and says "9 AM". That means, get my rear in gear. As they were getting ready to leave, I spotted a hairball under the dining table on my new rug.

After saying our goodbyes, I cleaned up the hairball mess, then I put the tea kettle on. The phone rang and I slowly picked up the receiver, afraid of what was on the other end. It was Mark saying that Eric forgot his lunch. I sighed. I stumbled with my words. My husband, being a smart guy, knew that I did not want to deal with it. So he was very kind and said he would take care of it. Praise God! Hubby arrived home to pick up the lunch and then left. I continued on with making myself breakfast. As I gazed out the window I saw something lurking on the sofa out back. It was black, then a head popped up and I gasped. Silly me! Its the rabbit! LOL One of the boys must have let her out of her hutch.

Now when a morning starts out the way my did, well you sort of wonder what the rest of the day is going to be like. Well the appointment with the vet went well. Princess kitty has some medicine to take. Mark came home for lunch and we ate up the leftover pizza. Yum! I got to take a nap on the couch after lunch. Oh boy, did that feel great! However, when I picked the boys up from school I found out that Eric lost his math book and the lunch Mark dropped off at the school did not get to Eric until after his lunch break. Honestly, I have to say, that I am glad I didn't drop that lunch off.

My Paradise Pool and Men

2009-09-20T16:31:00.000-07:00

I know, this title does not sound quite right for a Christian blog. Well, sincerely, if you read on you will see why the title is appropriate.

We decided to hang around home today since both the boys have colds. Both of them need to rest, but whether they will is a different story. Anyway, I decided it would be a good day to make some Thai chicken soup. I learned how to make this soup from my Thai friend Hong. I started it in the morning. While I was working on that, Eric decided to blow up my pool. Yes, a blow up pool for $14.98 +tax. The weather channel warned that there was going to be a horrible heatwave this week. I really hate the heat and we do not have any decent air conditioning so with that in mind I snagged myself a pool amongst the summer clearance items at Target. Anyway, my son set up a little oasis for me in the backyard and my husband helped him.

In the afternoon I got to feeling a bit warm so I slipped on my suit and went and enjoyed my little paradise pool (Good name, don't ya think?) Anyway, I got in the cool water and had a nice time soaking. There was a slight breeze from the ocean and the birds were singing. It was nice! I got out and sat in the sun. As I sat there I was enjoying the wonderful aroma of something cooking. It smelled like chicken. Then it finally dawned on me that it was my cooking and I had forgotten about my soup! So I quick ran into the kitchen and stood over a rapidly boiling pot. Sigh. Fortunately, I had not ruined it and was able to save it. It looks wonderful. Then I made some coconut pudding. Yum!

Yesterday my men were at work in the garage. The garage is their domain simply because it is always a mess. I hate going in there and whenever I see it I cringe. Sometimes I open my mouth and start ordering men around. This does not create happy men, rather it creates grumpy men. So most times I look the other way. Okay, here below are pictures of men working.

Mark and Brandon sanding the patrol box.

Eric testing his stencils on some scrap wood before leaving to go surfing. He did not tell me that he was coming down with a cold because he knew I would make him stay home.

Here is Brandon with his friend from Scouts painting the patrol box blue. Brandon got paint all over himself. We found paint on my car. Paint on the ground and paint covered paint brushes. The paint also got on Mark's shirt. It continued into the kitchen where they rinsed the paint brushes. Then it continued on into the bathroom where I found flexs of paint on the wall, sink, bathtub, etc.

Today, Eric decided to do the stenciling on the box. Here below are a couple of pictures of what he did (a little blurry, sorry). First picture is of the top of the box.

And here is the sides of the box. Again the picture came out a bit blurry. I think the boys did a pretty good job. Next they will be applying a poly coat to seal it. Currently I have all the cooking gear from this box taking up space in my kitchen. I will be glad when the box is dry and ready for gear.

Guy Stuff

2009-09-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

I am over the achey part of my virus, but not out of the woods yet. Even so, I am up doing what a Mom does. And it finally became clear why the Lord wanted us to cancel our trip. Because my youngest son has come down with a cold. The boys were going to be staying with their grandparents, but since my father in-law is getting his treatments for cancer he cannot be around anyone that is sick. So it is a good thing we canceled.

Last night Mark and I went to Back to School Night. We had to split up and take one of our boys' schedules. I took Eric's. It was sort of fun going from class to class and taking down notes. We got the big scoop on what the boys are supposed to be doing. It was very helpful. Today was a minimum day, so I had to pick the boys up at lunch time. Brandon (my youngest) greeted me with a question, "Has the vice principal called you yet?" That isn't a question a mom wants hear. He explained to me that he got in a fight with a boy in his PE class. I finally got a call and the vice principal reassured me that my son was not the trouble maker (although we know he can be...lol). I told her I am glad that it wasn't any worse than it was, which she agreed.

Well, my men have been up to lots of other stuff besides fighting. Below are pictures of them practicing their new found sport of archery. We have a range nearby our house. They have made some nice friends at the range and they have been giving them some pointers (small pun there) on how to shoot, etc.

Here is a picture of a patrol box. The boys load this with cooking gear when they go camping with the Boy Scouts. We have this in our garage right now because Brandon (who is leader of his patrol) wants to paint it. He asked his big brother to make stencils to decorate the box.

Here below are the stencils Eric made. He is artistically gifted. He found the images on the web and then cut them. Brandon's patrol is called The Vikings.

Tomorrow the sanding and painting begin. Eric is supposed to go surfing with a friend, but Brandon is having a friend from his patrol come over to help with the sanding and painting. I can't wait to see what it looks like when they are done!

Please check out my Hopes & Dreams blog when you can, it has a couple of new posts out there that I hope will uplift you.

White Wednesday

2009-09-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have seen other lovely blogs participate in something called White Wednesday. One blog referred to Faded Charm Cottage as the originator of White Wednesday. Here is my contribution:

This gorgeous white leaf I recently picked up at Ross Dress For Less. I love it! As you can see I am using it as a tealight holder.

This picture isn't very good, but good enough that you can see my ceramic white pumpkin next to my Friendly Village plate. I think the two look good together. I got the white pumpkin at Marshal's for $5.00. I didn't have to worry about money to buy it because I had a gift card. Yeah!

In other news, I am still under the weather. Slight congestion in my head, but nothing big deal (praise God). Mostly just aches and a general feeling of being unwell. I do not have my usual spunk, my ears are ringing every so slightly, and I keep having hot flashes. Sigh. So Mark decided to cancel our trip for this weekend. He is rescheduling it for the first weekend in October. I am hopeful that we will all be well at that time.

Last week I had to take my youngest son to the doctor. He has an infection in two of his toes. We have been soaking his feet at least 2 or 3 times a day, putting medicine on the affected areas and he is taking an antibiotic. Tomorrow night is Back to School night where parents get to meet teachers. I hope that I am feeling up to it so that Mark doesn't have to go alone.

Feels Like Fall Today

2009-09-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

Puffy white clouds with a slight touch of gray moved in. It feels like Autumn has decided to take up residence; well, at least for the day. I decided to take a few pictures around the cottage.

Another of my school decorations on display for the month of September. The sign says "Too many days till vacation." I have been hanging this cute sign up since the boys were in elementary school. They still love it.

I decided to do a little bit of Autumn decorating. I love how this silk flower arrangement looks with the dark wood of the antique table.

Here is Dusty kitty in a basket taking a nap. The basket is right next to my computer table. She likes to sleep nearby me.

Here is a recent frivolous purchase totaling $4.00. The blue plate was 99 cents and the creamer was $2.99. I just thought it looked so pretty together.

Here is a new nightstand that I bought yesterday. It is currently on sale at Target stores for $79.99 (originally $99.99). Eric put it together for me, he did a great job. I am mixing dark wood furniture with white in my bedroom. Why? Because I recently picked up a white vanity for free. I have always wanted a vanity. Once I put it in my bedroom it looked neat with the dark wood dressers I've had since 1988. Here is a picture of the vanity, it has a stool to go with it, but my men are in the midst of repairing it.

In other news, Mark and I planned a getaway for ourselves this coming weekend. We did not really do much for our anniversary this year, so this trip was going to make up for that. Well, both Mark and I feel like we are coming down with a cold virus. I am so disappointed, I was so looking forward to our little trip to the sea right next to Torrey Pines State Park. Oh well, I guess the Lord has other plans for us.

One Year Anniversary!!

2009-09-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I am excited, this is my 220th post and The Little Blue Cottage's one year anniversary! Yeah!!

To my readers, thank you! Your kind words, your thoughts and prayers are a huge blessing. I am very thankful for all my blog friends for their encouragement not only with their comments, but through their blogs. Blessings & hugs to all. Becky

2009-09-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

Posting with blessed remembrance of September 11th, 2001.

Through all the trials that day
God's love was very evident
through people helping one another.

Free Love

2009-09-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

Today I thought I would share some verses that are touching me.

"As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you; continue ye in my love." John 15:9

God's love is there for me. It is free. It is the football I need to pick up and run with. Sometimes I drop the ball. Then there are those days I feel I am unworthy to carry the ball. Grabbing on to God's love and hanging on is the only thing that gets me through difficult days.

"But His joy is in those who reverence Him, those who expect Him to be loving and kind." Psalm 147:11

I like this verse because it corrects my thinking about the Lord. I am to expect Him to be loving and kind. Isn't it amazing that the Lord is actually joyful when I need Him. This is hard for me to fathom due to issue in my past, but God is so amazingly patient with me. This is the reason I praise Him.

"Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses." Luke 12:15

I like this verse because it corrects my desires. My life is not about material goods (money, car, house, etc). Praise God! This verse gives me the refocus that I need. It refreshes me like taking a dip in a pool on a hot day. The Lord has not gifted me with material wealth, but none the less I am rich!

A short quote:

The riches of this world are vain,
They vanish in a day;
But sweet the treasures of God's love-
They never pass away. ~Bosch

Memories: Remembering Beverly

2009-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

With the boys away at school, I have time to think. The thoughts are gushing out all over the place, I need a mop to clean them up! I also think maybe I have a case of ADD; let me explain. I am cleaning and reorganizing and in doing so, I come across items and writings that stir my thoughts. I wonder where the years have gone. For example, I picked up an old note pad and read what I had written on it and it took me back to when the boys were in elementary school. It seems like everything has gone by with lightening speed and I realize I've had no control over time. Time just keeps moving and it never stops. Thinking about time then brought my memory to when I was in the hospital. I remember looking out the window of my room. I had not been outside for weeks. I felt like I was a prisoner and the world was passing me by.

I have all kinds of memories, items, writings, cards & letters tucked away. Many things I treasure and hang on to for what they represent. It is my way of hanging on to peoples' love and care through the years. The Lord sends so many people to help us. It is His way of loving us. But back to cleaning, there are so many things that I have not been able to attend to between dealing with my health issues, homeschooling and stays at the hospital.

I sat down after cleaning so hard I broke into a sweat. I laid on the bed and stared up at a bookcase in our guest room. At the top are two flower pots with fake roses, some peacock feathers and a teddy bear sitting in a wicker chair. Doesn't sound like a decorater's dream does it? Well, I am looking up there knowing I need to take all that stuff down, dust it and the bookcase, but then I start thinking about what those dusty item represent. The teddy bear my mother in-law gave to me before she moved away to Arizona. She cleaned the old bear that used to be my husband's when he was a child and propped him up in the wicker chair. When I look at that bear I remember my mother in-law.

Okay, next comes the two pots of fake roses and the peacock feathers. They remind me of my neighbor Beverly. When I moved into the neighborhood 18 years ago, I never knew what blessings were in store for me. Beverly was one of them. She and her husband kept a very tidy home and beautiful gardens. Bev tended her roses and every spring she would faithfully grow sweetpeas at the side of her house. She and her husband raised bees in the backyard and kept lawn so green that everyone wanted to sit on it. She was friendly and invited me down to meet her sister and brother in-law when they came from Oregon. That is when she gave me the peacock feathers. She loved my boys and they loved her. Not long after that she had a stroke, but being a woman of faith and courage she battled back. She bravely took daily walks always waving hello to us with a smile. I would send my boys to visit her and at Christmas we exchanged cards and goodies. When she finally passed away Mark and I attended her funeral.

Afterward, her children came and started cleaning out the house. My boys always love other peoples junk and they picked up these flower pots with the fake roses. I have kept them all these years to remember Beverly. They are not a decorator's dream, but I am thinking that the love and memories they represent are worth the dust.

Phone Appointment

2009-09-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

Today my tummy felt better, but I am exhausted from all the pain. My sore calf muscle was feeling better today too. Still a bit sore, but better. Praise God! Okay, I had my phone consult with my endometriosis doctor. I felt we had a good talk and after asking questions I feel he is the right doctor to do surgery if any is needed. My husband thinks so and so does my bowel doctor. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. ;-) The deal is that I am going to try working with a physical therapist for awhile which I am cool with because it doesn't involve drugs. If that does not work then it will be time for surgery. He even assured me that he is not going to give up on me. That was very comforting!

Mishaps and Other Tales of Woe

2009-09-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

Hope you all had a good Labor Day celebration. We did not do much. Eric got together with a new friend he met at high school. They went skateboarding together. Mark and Brandon went down to the archery range and hung with the guys and shot their bows. I ran a couple errands, but mostly hung around home resting.

It is a good thing that Mark and I canceled the colonoscopy scheduled for this week. I woke this morning with pain and nausea and it carried on all day. I have felt quite ill. Mark said "See, the Lord was leading us in our decision to cancel." I am so glad. The way I feel, it would be a big drag to have to down all that stuff for a bowel cleanse. Tomorrow I am scheduled to speak with my endometriosis doctor via phone consultation. We will see how the Lord leads.

To add to my tale of woe, I have been accident prone the past few days. One evening I sat down in the dining chair funny and ended up hitting my heel. That hurt enough, but at the same time I pulled a muscle in my back. Then the next day I dropped a glass bottle of soda on my toe. Ouch! It started to swell and my men quickly got some ice for me. I did not let my toe stop me from doing things I wanted. Mistake! That night I had a hard time getting comfortable enough to sleep with my throbbing toe. The only place I could manage to get comfortable was on the sofa. In the morning I woke with an extremely sore calf muscle, although the toe is better, I still can't walk normal. Sigh.

All in all, I was able to make a very nice Labor Day dinner for my men.

Summer at the Cottage

2009-09-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

Flowers for my garden.

Next Saturday (Sept. 12th) will be The Little Blue Cottage's one year anniversary. I am not sure what one does in blog world for an anniversary. If you have any input on this let me know.

It is a warm summer night at the Little Blue Cottage and the music of Beethoven is wafting through the air. We had a nice summer dinner in our sunroom. Best of all, my stomach is not bothering me. Yahoo!

Here below are some recent pictures I have taken around the cottage.

The moon hiding behind some clouds.

Just thought this looked so pretty.

This is my Dusty kitty, she is my napping partner.

Here is Princess kitty in our sitting room.
That is her chair that she is sitting in.
The end table is an antique from my Grandparents.
I had it in my bedroom, but recently moved it into our living room.

The Path is Set

2009-09-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Reaching out for something to hang on to. Something that provides security in the storm. In the midst of all the pain I have been enduring for the past week my emotions run wild. When Peter walked on the water toward Jesus he at first looked at the Lord, but then he looked down at the waves and started sinking. He immediately called out to Jesus and the Lord grabbed Peter's hand.

The past few days I have felt I am in a storm and I have been focused on the waves. I have been praying and seeking the Lord's guidance, but trying to hang on to something I shouldn't. Finally, my husband said to me, "You are seeking security in a man." (meaning my bowel doctor). It was then that things became clear. My doctor is not the one that can lift me, only God can do that. So together my husband and I have decided to cancel the colonoscopy. I am going to seek security in God.

You see, my bowel doctor has already told me that he is not sure that he can help me. He wants to, but he doesn't know endometriosis. So that means I need to go back to my endometriosis doctor. The path has been leading that way, I just have not wanted to go down it. Why? Simply because I have wanted to believe that this disease is gone, but I can no longer deny it. The path is set before me, I need to be obedient and walk down it. To be honest, I am afraid.

Back to School

2009-09-01T07:38:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I put my school decorations up. This is my new garden flag. The boys don't particularly like this flag. ;-)

Here is the official "Back to School Sunflower". The colors are so perfect for Autumn.

Here are my "back to school" boys nervously awaiting their first day at the public high school. Princess is comforting them. They are sad that summer vacation is over. Can you tell I am too?

Eric was out in the backyard visiting with our rabbit this morning and brought this beautiful sunrise to my attention.

Please view Becky's Journal for a new post regarding my health situation.
For a spiritual uplift please see Hopes & Dreams

My Bubble Burst

2009-08-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Well, the last time I wrote I was saying how much better I felt. Well, things took a turn last Friday, August 28th. On that day my pain came back.

Saturday, was so hot. My sister invited us to swim at her house in the morning. The last time I had fun swimming was in July 2007. That was before my big surgery. The next time I tried swimming was when I had my colostomy in 2008. Swimming did not go well that summer. The colostomy was fine, but I was still too weak from having had sepsis. Swimming made me feel very ill that summer. Well I am happy to say that summer 2009 is great. This time I was able to swim back and forth across the pool several times. It was so fun and something to praise God about. Later we were invited to a BBQ at Mark's cousin's house. His cousin has a pool too and so I went for a short swim. I was a bit tired, but I did good. We enjoyed visiting, but after dinner my tummy pain kicked in and I got a few cramps. Sunday was another day of pain and today too.

I still have not decided whether I should go for the colonoscopy or not. Mark says "no". We know that it probably will not show anything. On top of that, my bowel doctor has already said if it is endometriosis he will not know what to look for. So that means I have to go up and see my endometriosis doctor. I will be talking to him next week. I am still limiting the amount of hormones I take (which is about nothing).

In other news the fires have started burning around Southern California. We can see a plume of smoke from a fire that is up in Los Angeles. I took a couple of pictures of it as the plume changes appearance every so often. Mark said he heard on the news that it is going to take fire fighters a week or more to put this fire out.

My youngest son spent the night at his friends house on Sunday. He said they could see the flames burning on a distant hill from the upstairs of the house. Pretty scary.

While I was taking pictures of the smoke from the fires I snapped one of our street with all the flowering trees in bloom. It looks so pretty.

In other news, we took the boys over to the high school for the Freshman BBQ. Brandon got his final schedule and he got set up for computer access. Eric doesn't have computer access, so we are probably going to have to go to the office and work on that after school. The boys were able to hook up with an old friend which helped them feel a bit more comfortable. Unfortunately, they do not have any classes with him. The first day of school is tomorrow, summer is sadly over.

Dilemmas

2009-08-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

It is our last week of summer vacation and I had plans of living it up (so to speak), but it just hasn't happened. The weather took a turn to "hot" and that has us feeling sluggish, and I have gotten a few headaches. Hot weather is no fun at the cottage because we do not have central air nor a pool.

Well, in some ways this week has been fun for the boys. Eric found a baby lizard in our garage that he is keeping as a pet. Another pet (sigh). On top of that, the boys introduced me to some games on Facebook. To say the least, these games are addicting. The boys have been enjoying me being on these games with them and we talk about them. The good thing about the games is that they have me interacting with my sons on a new level. The bad thing is that they take up a lot of time and I really feel they draw me away from being spiritually minded. I want to rid myself of these games, but my sons want me to stay on them because they like me being out there. I found my niece is out there, one of my nephews and some friends. Once school starts the game playing is going to slow way down. So this dilemma will solve itself...I hope.

The other dilemma is my health situation. I am not really sure if I should go through with the colonoscopy on Sept. 10th. Whatever was hanging up my ability to eat and causing so much pain on my left side seems to have resolved itself. (Praise God!) Granted, it has only been a few weeks that the pain has been gone, but it has never been gone this long before. The right sided pain is quite strong at times, but it is just annoying more than anything. I do not think the right sided pain is worth having surgery for. With the way I feel right now, I am in a suitable position to wait for the Lord's return. I really cannot wait to slide into the new body I am going to get. It can't come soon enough for me.

A sure sign that I am in less pain is that I am spunkier. This morning the boys and I went for a bike ride. My new bike is fantastic! This time I did not get completely wiped out. It seems my old beach cruiser was just so hard to pedal it was giving me a double work out. Today I rode my new bike for miles. I did not even have to stop in the park to rest on the way home. I made it all the way without stopping! That really made me feel good. When I told Mark he said "You see, I told you it was your bike and not you." I am so thankful for my bike!

A Tour of Old Town Orange

2009-08-24T22:18:00.001-07:00

I love this house with its white picket fence.

The front door is gorgeous and notice the shades
& lace curtains in the upstairs window.

This house is across the street (from the house above).
I love the big front porch.

A close up of the front door.
Love the roses.

The owner has decorated the upper
balcony with bird houses.

I like the bright yellow door on this house.

It has beautiful big trees around the property.

Here is house with a wrap around porch.

Cute little teal cottage.

Hope you enjoyed the tour!

My New Bike

2009-08-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

This is my new bike with my pink helmet hanging off the handlebar. All I need is a basket on the front and I will be all set. I think this bike was heaven sent, because I found something very special on it. On the bar toward the back wheel, there is writing and a picture. The writing says "divine" and next to that word is a picture of sparrows like the little bird I raised. Yes, this is the perfect bike for me!

Surprises

2009-08-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to write about some recent events that have happened here at the Little Blue Cottage, but I am going to tell them as if I am writing a short story.

The Surprise #1

Once upon a time there was a big daddy long legs spider that found its way into a modest blue cottage. Spider decided to take up residence in the cottage's main bathroom. One night Spider decided to climb up the lovely Chambray colored wall. All the sudden the mistress of the house appeared in the bathroom. Spider quick tried to hide behind the mistress' towel, but it was too late she had spotted him. The mistress, who was very tired, decided to spare the spider, hoping it would magically disappear. She went to bed.

The next day, mistress was going about her business and never noticed Spider. Out of sight, out of mind. She ran this errand and that, she cooked, she cleaned, she became a very tired mistress at the end of the day. One thing she very much liked to do at the end of every day was soak in a nice warm bath with bubbles. So mistress drew her bubble bath and was all relaxed in the tub when Spider decided to jump down out of nowhere and land right on top of the bubbles in the bath. Spider tried to get out of the tub, but Mistress seeing Spider with his big long legs began to yell for help. She called for the master of the house. Master came in and BAM! That was the end of Spider.

The Surprise #2

Once upon a time there was a Mom who worked very hard. She did not have much money, but she wanted to somehow make a memorable summer for her sons. So she decided to let her sons have their friends over. Mom cooked and cleaned and drove and did whatever she could to make summer fun. One day she had to drive quite a distance to pick up a friend and bring them back to the Little Blue Cottage. She was very tired from all the things she had done that week, but she kept going because in her heart she was eager to bless others. In the afternoon she took her sons and their friend to the dollar movie theater at the nearby mall. A good time was had by all.

When she came home her husband was home from work. She came in greeted her husband and then he invited her to come out to the garage to see something. Inside the garage was a brand new bicycle for her! She did not know what to say except that her old bike was fine. Her husband insisted that she needed a new bike since the other one was now 25 years old. The old beach cruiser just was not the same, rusting, handlebar grips were cracked, the tires were worn, etc. Feeling like a queen she jumped on the new bike and took a ride. The smoothness of ride, the ease of pedaling and braking and the ergonomic grips on the handlebars made her melt into this bike. As she rode down the street with a smile, her heart was full of thanksgiving for her blessed Lord and husband.